We all have those people in our lives, whose faith in God is like no other.
That person in my life, is my grandma. Recently, she just celebrated her 93rd birthday. A birthday that a lot of us was wondering if she would see. Over the course of the last few years, each winter she has a period of a week or so, in which she ‘lands’ in the hospital. Some years it’s been due to her heart while other years it is because of a slip and fall. There are days in which we (the family) has wondered if she will make it. Yet, time and time again, she has ‘bounced back’ and will return back to her apartment and life will continue on. Prior to the race, knowing that something like this would likely happen while I was gone, I had a conversation with my parents. We talked about what I would do, if my grandma were to pass away while I was gone. As morbid as it was to have, we all knew that it was also very necessary.
While on the race, I have had teammates and squad mates, lose grandparents. As natural as losing a loved one maybe, being away from home when it happens-simply sucks. Although my grandma and I never have been super close, I couldn’t imagine life without her. For the last number of years, she has literally lived next door to my parents. As a kid, I grew up going to my grandma’s house in the village for Sunday Faspa’s (traditional Mennonite meal consisting of fresh bread, jam, cheese, pickles and some sort of meat). I spent many Christmases on the farm jumping in waist high snow banks, snowmobiling/Gt’ing around the yard. My cousins and I spent many hours in the back room in my grandma’s trailer playing RISK, watching TV and hanging out.
Over the last number of years, going next door to Grandma’s house meant simply talking with her. At this point in my own spiritual walk, I started to inquire about her journey with Jesus. I have had conversations with her about God, about life and what it means to be wholly devoted to Him. Conversations when she has asked ME, the purpose of her still being alive was. Yet watching her realize herself that, it was to be a mighty prayer warrior for her kids and us grandkids. While I was taking a theology course at Bible College, I would find myself at her house over the weekends asking, “Grandma, how is your faith so ‘simple”? She would pause what she was doing (which was usually beating me in a game of classic Rumi cube), look at me, smile and then reach for her bible that never out of her reach. She would hold it in her hands and tell me, “Because this tells me so. This has everything I have ever needed and will ever need. I know my Lord is faithful, I know He loves me and I love Him.” She would then carry on figuring out her next move as I sat there, speechless at the amount of Faith that the women before me had.
Over the last month, grandma hasn’t been doing too well. She is in the hospital and will no longer be able to go back to her apartment. Her 93rd birthday has come and gone, and it pains me that I am not able to be there for her. Honestly, I know I couldn’t do much as even a 5 minute visit, tires her out most days. Yet simply knowing that I am there, especially for the rest of my family, would help. I know that the most powerful thing that I CAN do, even while in Cambodia, is pray. Praise Jesus that prayer knows no bounds and that time zones, oceans and miles, will not ever be able to stop the power of prayer. The power of my God. Should she pass away while I am gone, even with 3 months left on the race, I know I will not be going home for the funeral. Honestly, as selfish as it is (in so many ways) my daily prayer is that she will hold on at least for the next 3 months. That I WILL be able to be there for her (and my family) when the time comes. I know this isn’t being fair to anyone at home, especially TOO my grandma as she just wants to meet her Saviour. Yet, how do you say ‘good-bye’ to someone, being thousands of miles away, knowing you never will see them again?
(My Grandma and I at my brother’s High school Grad a few years back)
My Grandma never has been one to outwardly show a whole lot of affection, but she would always tell us kids, while we were walking out of her door after a visit, to “Don’t forget to come back!!” Comments like these, reminded me of her love for us. For me. Phone calls that I would get from her, just to say hi and wish me a good day after I was done college, reminded me that she was indeed praying for me. The encouragement that she has been, throughout the different traveling that I have done, has been a blessing in which words cannot describe.
Will I see her ‘this side of Heaven?’ once again? I honestly do not know. Yet what I do know, is that with the last three months that I DO have left on this race, I am going to race them strong. Not for myself, my team, my squad or anything else…but for a women who continues to inspire me and challenge me. For a women whose faith has challenged my own. For a women who is in love with her Saviour and whose last wish is to simply ‘go home and meet her Saviour’.
I KNOW she will hear the words from Jesus, “Well done good and faithful servant. You have fought the Good fight”.
Those are the words I want to hear as well, whenever my time comes.
Grandma, happy 93rd birthday!
I miss you and I am praying for you,
Love, Your granddaughter
Nikki
