Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentines, Birthday and then I get to see her again! My count down is starting to be carved out with the holidays. I’ve dreaded the holidays since she’s left but I am going to try to be joyful because I know that is what Niki would want me to do. She has no clue that I may have a cut out of her face to have around for all of these holidays.
The Hallmark movies are reminders that she is not here, the Christmas music playing makes me smile but then I kind of get sad when I hear songs like “Mary Did you know?” because Niki would always belt out the songs no matter if she was off key. LOL (Niki you are a fantastic singer). I think of the new flavors coming to the coffee shops such as pumpkin spice or some type of chai tea and my memories flood to her sitting at a coffee shop (Poets) just somewhere studying and sipping her favorites. Then there is Thanksgiving just around the corner and my heart goes to sharing her with her Dad. Dinner was always with her Dad at noon and desserts were always with me at Mom’s at 2:00. I know I will be looking at the door around 1:45 expecting her to pop in. Whew ~ where did that lump in my throat just come from?? And then there is the Black Friday shopping issue. I hated it and she loved it! She’d always find someone to go with whether it was Nanny and Carla, one of her girlfriends or Cindy (which was a bad influence ~ bahahha ~ just teasing Cindy)
Oh then there is the Christmas tree time. The kid’s tree is always a real tree and many, many times she has helped me pick it out and haul that baby home. Then came the fun time of lugging that crazy tree up the 14 steps of our home. (Always laughing till we had to pee) Then there is time set aside for the kids to come and decorate their tree. They hang their ornaments from the years past and always ended up fighting. Stevie would make fun of her home made ornaments from when she was a little girl and she would make fun of his. The memory is still treasured by me. Her ornament this year will represent the World Race and it will be hung by her God Child Teagan in her honor.
As Christmas is just around the corner, I can’t imagine the emotions I will have that day but we will get through. There are a dozen traditions that will definitely be different this year. As I started to reflect on all of this I want you all to know that I am truly OK. I know without a doubt that the LORD has ordained every step of this journey. The last couple of times I have talked to Niki, she is just radiating JOY. The host is actually going to try to do a traditional US thanksgiving meal and although it will not be exactly like home I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. The team will get a little bit of home this week. I’m also thankful for Niki’s reminders to just see the little things. Leaves all over the yard, sun rises over the lake by the house, the chill when I am out walking Bella, and texts every night from those that love me to just say good night have really impacted my daily walk. The LORD is good all the time and All the time HE is good. I hope that as you make memories this year and follow traditions with your family that you take a moment to notice all of those little things. Those little things are the things that make me get through the day and that the LORD reminds me that I am loved.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
Debbie (Niki’s Mom)
