Before I left for launch, I asked my mom if she would like to write some blogs while I was on the world race. I wanted everyone to see the world race from a parents point of view. She was eager for the opportunity to share her thoughts and what the world race was like for her. Here is her first blog. I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I did.
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As I rushed through the blur of the last week of my daughter being at home before she left for almost a year ~ I kept thinking ~ I didn’t get to squeeze everything in. I wanted to take her out to all the special places she wanted to eat. I wanted to have that quiet, looking her in the eyes long conversations and I wanted to just shower her with luxuries. Special little things that I knew she would not get on the World Race. I wanted to have special cards written out for her and thoughtful letters written for every month she was going to be gone, special little nuggets of verses and wisdom and NADA. Not one of these happened!! I wanted it to be somewhat normal and it was just craziness trying to prep and pull everything together all in those last minutes.
Her last week home was truly a blur. Her brother got married the Saturday before which was just chaos, we had the 2 year old grand baby that my daughter loves dearly and was thankful to see but we were having to sleep in her bed which made my daughter sleeping on the couch her last week home. She wasn’t even sleeping in her own bed. (I was instantly guilty) She was trying to visit so many people before she left to say goodbyes, I was chasing a 2 year old around the house and it seemed that we were just passing each other as we were running out the door. We were not eating even normal meals that week. (who had time?) We were living out of a house crammed with wedding items stacked all around, her World Race gear spread out all over, a 2 year old’s toys spread from room to room and truly not enough time to even soak up each other. Just to take it all in and cherish those last few days.
I finally got a baby sitter on Thursday, the day she was leaving so we could just look at each other. We spent time running to the phone store to work on her plan and managed to grab lunch. I was sitting there across from her trying to imagine how I was going to survive her being gone so long and trying to figure out ~ how am I going to get everything done before she leaves. Watching her pull out of the drive way that afternoon was much harder than I thought. (even seeing her car in the driveway now is hard ~ I keep forgetting that she is gone and thinking – Ah Niki’s home!) ?
Thursday night was hard. I had dropped off the 2 year old in the late evening (which is another goodbye since she lives out of state) and I sat down to try to pull together all the notes and letters I had gathered. I had sent my hubby to get pictures printed for her album because (of course) my “ordered pictures” did not make it in time. I stayed up to 1:00 that morning trying to pour as much love and sentiment and prayers that I could in that little photo book. I kept checking it to make sure it wasn’t getting too heavy in fear that Niki would say “Mom I can’t take that ~ it weighs too much”! I asked myself some hard questions then. Where did the time go? Why hadn’t I sat down weeks before and wrote all the letters I needed to write? I was so wrapped up in the wedding that I was not only overwhelmed with planning every detail of it, but trying to plan her going away party too. I was honestly just exhausted and tired and still trying to work full time and trying to be everything to everybody. So I cried ~ Will she know how much I wanted to say to her and never got it written? Will she know how much I love her and how I am going to miss her terribly? Can I even write anything that makes sense at this point? Guilt screamed out to me that entire time as I cried ~ as I tried to find the right thing to say in my letters ~ as I tried to remember where certain verses were that I wanted to make sure she was reminded of and after falling asleep on the couch with pictures stuck on me, I woke up to total darkness. How long had I been asleep on the couch? OH my goodness am I going to be late for launch? As I reached for my phone to check the time, I had a verse pulled up. The verse was “Let God have all your worries and cares for HE is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you”. I Peter 5:7 At that point I felt peaceful. I felt that even if I didn’t have all the letters and all the notes and all of the sentiments that I wanted to send with Niki that in her heart she would have peace and know that through the blur of the last week that she was loved. That she is important and that she is meant to be on this journey. I prayed ~ I prayed for her and for her team and for her hosts and for every country and I prayed that I would grow on this journey too.
So as much as I wanted it to be a normal week that was calm and peaceful before Niki left, I realized that my life will never be normal again. This next year especially will not be normal……..but I will save that for my next blog
~ Debbie
