Something the Lord has been telling me and teaching me this season of my life is how to love myself.
To some this may sound easy, but for me it’s nearly impossible.
I have NEVER loved myself.
I always look at myself compared to others and realize just how unworthy and unlovable I am.
“He is so much closer to God than me. She is so much prettier than me. He can quote scripture like it’s a second language, why can’t I? She has such pretty hair, I need her hair!” These are the thoughts that flood my mind much more often than I care to admit. This is one of those pesky footholds that the enemy has in my life.
I often times don’t even realize I am doing this. It just sneaks up. Jealousy is an ugly sin to have. Jesus pointed it out while I was on this trip and it has not been an easy ride.
I know that God loves me…I know I am loved by others but I just don’t know how to love myself.
This is one of those blogs that just came to me in the moment and as I am writing I am feeling sick…just knowing that the world is going to read about one of my deepest darkest secrets.
I don’t love myself, I get jealous, and it’s something I will probably struggle with for the rest of my life. But I’m working on it.
My wonderful teammates have challenged me to speak truth over my life every day and to constantly remind myself of my worth, my beauty, and my royalty. God says I’m beautiful so I am. God says I am His child so I am a princess of the Most High. God says I am worthy to send His Son to die for me…so I am!
I know I’m not the only person struggling with this so I challenge you to speak these truths over your life too! Everyday! Until you start to believe them…then the enemy can’t hold it over you anymore!
Blessings,
Niki
