Two weeks into February, I hit the halfway point on my World Race. And now, as I’m preparing to leave Malaysia and go into month seven in Thailand, I’m realizing that this is by far one of the hardest countries for me to leave so far.
The reasons for this are not what I expected. I loved doing Unsung Heroes this month with my team, but I’m even more excited for our new ministry coming up in Thailand. I met a lot of awesome people this month, but there won’t be any particularly sad goodbyes like there were last month in India.
To be honest, leaving Malaysia is hard because it’s been by far the most comfortable month of my race. My team and I were SO blessed this month to stay in our own apartment, complete with hot water, air conditioning, and [gasp] our own washing machine (all of these a huge luxury after India and Nepal). And since Malaysia is our second month together now as a team, we’re totally comfortable with each other and able to laugh and encourage one another. While last month was spent still getting to know each other a little bit, this month just feels like doing ministry with five of my best friends.
On top of all of all this, Malaysia makes me feel at home. Kuala Lumpur is very much a melting pot of Asian cultures, kind of like how the US is a mixture of so many other different cultures. There isn’t nearly as much culture shock here as there was in Nepal and India. I can go out and walk around by myself, and generally everyone here speaks English.
I don’t think being comfortable is necessarily a bad thing, but living in such relative luxury mid-way through the race has only increased my homesickness and desire for living somewhere longer than a month. The halfway point in the World Race is hard because you’ve been gone long enough for the excitement of constantly travelling to wear off a little bit, but the reality that home and comfort and stability are still another five and a half months away starts to sink in. It’s like being out at sea on a ship and you suddenly realize that you’ve totally lost sight of the shore, both behind you and in front of you. It’s a little scary and disorienting and leaves you feeling desperate for some sense of familiarity.
I’m so thankful for the ways God has provided for my team and I this month, but going into month seven I’m praying for discomfort. I’m praying that God will give me even more reasons to daily rely on Him. I’m praying that I give even more of myself in ministry and to my team, despite my tendency at this point to distract myself and seek comfort. I know that this sense of weary restlessness I’ve been feeling is not unique to my situation on the world race. At different points in our lives we get to places where we become more concerned with what we’re doing rather than why. But I don’t want to forget why I am on the world race. I know that there is still so much for me to discover both about God and about myself for the remaining five months of this journey, and I don’t want to make the mistake of underestimating all that God can do with this time. I don’t want to wish it away in anticipation and excitement for what’s next. I want to move forward with even more determination to seek God than I did in the beginning and to always choose a spirit of thankfulness, because every day I’m reminded of just how much of a gift this time and this journey is.
