Lately, the realization of what is about to happen has been sinking in. Not in the way that I’m sure it will when I hug all of my loved ones goodbye, or on day 50 when life is hard and I miss my family. But it has been hitting me that in less than a month I will be away from my family, friends, church, hometown, and everything I love for 11 months.
Honestly, that has been getting me down a bit.
Have you ever had a dream and you were in it but it was like you were hanging out watching yourself? Kind of like an out of body experience? THAT is how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m still going to work, going places, doing things, but it’s like I’m kind of in a haze. Some sort of nostalgic fog. Every song, smell, laughter and hug brings back a memory. It’s so surreal. And weird.
I used to kind of worry about how my family would be without me being here but I’m coming to find: they are going to be just fine. I mean, they will miss me, but ultimately, they are in some ways, fine without me now and I haven’t even left yet. And that should bring me peace and comfort and in many ways; it does. But it also hurts. More than necessary. So I’m working on cherishing every last moment with them while being okay when they do things without me; realizing that it’s normal life for everyone; I’m just overthinking it.
Yes, I’m still so pumped to get to do this. Yes, I’m ready to start this crazy adventure with my Heavenly Father and several strangers that have rapidly become family. Yes, I’m still super excited!
But no. I’m not ready to leave.
There’s still too much to do. Too many “see ya laters” that I’m not prepared to say. Too many hugs to give. And I’m straight up not having a good time thinking about doing any of those things.
On a positive note: I get to see my aunt and uncle in Alabama soon! I haven’t seen either of them in a while and I’ve missed them. Also, I’m so excited to see my squad again!! I miss their faces.
Days left at my job? 9 Work days.
Days left at until the next fundraising deadline? 11.
Days left until my Send-Off Party? 19.
Days until mom and I load up the car and take off to Atlanta? 21.
Support left to raise for the next deadline? $2,362.
Support left to raise in total? $12,262.
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Thank you all for following me and partnering with me on the crazy journey God has called me to join Him on. Your support, prayers and partnership are so felt. I love you all so much!
-Niecey
