I spent this morning reading through my journal from this year and wanted to share my reflection process.
It’s always funny to look back over a longer time period. I remember all my journal entries from the beginning of last year well. I can feel myself still in the memories and even know where I was sitting and who I was sitting across when I wrote several of them out. There were some that surprised me and others that I’m grateful I wrote out to have to look back on and remember. I’m a different person from those entries and at the same time, the same. One thing I know I’ve gained out of this year is confidence. Confidence in who I am, who God is, and confidence in my ability. I love telling people that they can do anything they believe they can do. But as always for me looking back in the mirror and saying that to myself is the challenge. As this year is coming to an end though, I hear a whisper from God to dream more dreams. To dream for the impossible and to know that I am worthy of it. Life truly is a journey, there is no end destination that I’m trying to achieve, no I’m learning that it is more about finding the beauty in the process.
Who we believe ourselves to be is who we become. I don’t mean to say who we pretend to be, or hope to be. But who we sincerely believe ourselves to be is a curse or a calling.
-Jedidah Jenkins
I came across this quote today and as I end this year I know this quote to be true. So who do I believe I am as I come into this next year? Who do I want to be?
I am a woman of faith. A woman of hope. A woman of love. A woman of confidence. I want to continue to fall more in love with Jesus and to know more of the power of the Father’s love. I want to continue to create a safe place, a place of love and acceptance and truth. I want to dream even bigger dreams this year and walk in the knowledge that the small moments lead to the big ones. I want a simple life. I want to have meals with friends and invite people into my space more. I want to have tea and coffee with people like I learned in Morocco. I want to have endless game nights, and candle light dinners like I did in Ethiopia. I want to laugh until I can’t breathe with friends. I want to have more discipline in my quiet space with the Lord. I want to go on prayer walks. I want to read the bible more and discover more hope in the Word. I want to be more intentional with my family.
I wrote this in an instagram post a couple weeks ago…
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life is that there is always more. More to discover about yourself and with God. There’s always a greater depth to be found, a greater joy to obtain, and a great unknown that is on the horizon. With you God, I know I’m on the greatest adventure I’ll ever journey. It is the wild and free. And I know we are in it together. I’m more in love with you today than I was yesterday and I know tomorrow will bring the same feeling.”
This year I want to continue to journey in the wild and free.
God is a God of more. He wants to give us His kingdom and his inheritance. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, but most of all I believe he wants us to know that we are LOVED. He wants us to be able to look in the mirror and see what He sees when he looks at us. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Who do you truly believe you are? Who do you want to be? How can you let God into that space more this year and let his truth about you become the truth you see in yourself?
Love to you all. Happy New Year!
