Kind of a contradicting title, am I right? How to be alone while not physically being able to be alone. This is a skill all World Racers learn in the beginning just to survive. Let’s get one thing straight though, being alone is important. I do not mean to scare away all my extroverts out there, but having a balance of community and being alone is vital to your mental health. As an INFJ, people were shocked to learn that I am an introvert because my life was based on community and the infamous “fomo” back at home before I left for the mission trip. I grew up an only child, basically lived alone for three years, and picked the times I participated in being social. You can be an introvert and an extrovert at the same time and when I choose to not label myself to just one, I am at peak mental happiness.
This mission trip has been hard since it’s been about 8 months since I have sat in a room alone or anywhere alone really. It has been super tough at times. A few of my teammates and I would schedule time just to go to a coffee shop and sit at different tables just to pretend we were alone because we cannot travel alone anywhere. We have tried just about everything really. I’ve had my patience tested a lot in Africa because the kids are loving and they hang on to every body part you have. You only get privacy in the bathrooms and you don’t want to spend too long in the ones out here. I made a list of different things I’ve done to make sure I was balancing my extrovert with my introvert.
The Coffee Shop Trick
This is the one I listed before. My team members and I would literally go anywhere and sit apart from each other. In Month 2 of my trip, my teammate and I went to a mall that had a coffee shop and a tea shop right next to each other so we divided and conquered. It worked really well for us! Back at home, I lived in coffee shops as a freelancer. I really miss being able to just leave my apartment and go where I wanted. This provided me with a sense of freedom and control for myself.
Ear Phones In
My team members know, once in the headphones are in, the world is tuned out. It is about knowing space and boundaries within your group of friends. For me, during car rides, I tune out. Mostly due to my motion sickness, but that’s when I just get to be. I love our long travel days for that reason because it’s peaceful and I feel like I’m back at home, driving my car around, and doing my own thing. If you relate, tell your friends that. We have gotten to the point that if someone doesn’t hear us because they have their headphones in, we relay the message later.
Morning Workouts
Morning, Afternoon, Night, or whenever. Mornings are nice because no one else is awake. Each month on the World Race looks different when it comes to working out, but in month seven when I was in Uganda, there was a huge field on the refugee base. We lived in close quarters that month, meaning, my only alone time was in my tent that was too hot to go into during the day, so I went to the field and ran. It felt so good and I felt mentally amazing. I get in moods of loving working out and hating it. I love it when I use it as my free therapy but sometimes, I really just don’t want to do it. Listen to that side of yourself as well. Don’t force yourself to do it if it becomes an unhealthy thing for you. What I mean by these morning workouts are meant for alone time like a quick 30-minute run or walk!
Mindless Activities
Mindless activities can still be important and help people. Sometimes, I like going in the kitchen and helping prepare meals. I like chopping, cutting, and stirring in peace. It allows me to do something while having quiet time to myself. I’ve been in kitchens with 15+ people and peeling potatoes or chopping onions still makes me feel like I am alone. Find that activity for yourself!
Communicating Your Needs
Don’t be afraid to let people know what you need. Chances are, when you don’t communicate that and are struggling, the people around you already know and feel what you are going through so it is a win-win for everyone. Your community or your friends want to see you happy and thriving, so DO the things that make you happy and thrive. Create a game plan or plan out different times where you get to be alone and finish what you need to do.
