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I have no idea how to cram everything that happened at training camp into one single blog. I seriously filled half a journal from these 10 amazing days! I realize I journal more than most, but everything we did had a purpose and it was a lot of stuff to process! I often was found at the table or somewhere journaling!

Training was everything from intense discipleship, cultural training, community building, AMAZING worship, and just good ol’ fashion memory making!  
 
Everything from dance parties, cold showers, hot cabins, to getting my feet eaten up by red ants… I wouldn’t trade any of it! 


 
I have a whole new family to live life with this next year, and I’m blessed the Lord has brought us together to bring His Kingdom to the nations!

My story: 

The thing I came to training camp struggling with the most was the feeling of inadequacy in my walk with the Lord. Although I knew there is always more to learn about the Lord, and always new things to experience with the Holy Spirit, this fear had begun to control my mind over the last few months. This fear, this lie, constantly told me:

Your relationship with the Lord is not real. You don’t REALLY know God, you only know about Him. You have never really experienced the fullness of the Lord because you don’t have the same experiences as this person or that person. 

I know it sounds stupid, but it’s the truth. I fought hard not to believe it. But it seemed like the nagging voice was always there, trying to make me doubt my encounters with The Spirit of the Lord. At times I felt worthless and hopeless. In those times, I clung to the foundation of truth planted in me, but those little thoughts still crept in from time to time. 

Had all the times I’d thought the Lord had met me been real? Did I just have a wild imagination? From a few things said to me from past church leaders, I had often felt because I didn’t have certain spiritual gifts, I had been accused of not really knowing the Holy Spirit. 

Here’s the first idea that began to set me free of this lie:

We are all in process, and that’s okay!!
 
Yes, my God is the God I have always known, loved, and served. The Spirit was with me the whole time and had revealed Himself to me. All of us who have been saved by the blood of Jesus, and have allowed the Spirit of God to overtake our entire being, have entered into this Journey with the Lord. 
 
There is more to knowing and walking with Jesus than just being saved! We are all at different stages in our walk, but that’s the beauty of it. There are people to mentor me and there are people for me to mentor. There are still things I don’t completely understand, but it’s OKAY! 
 
The Spirit of the Lord is alive and active, and daily wants to bring me a little closer to Him and reveal more of Himself to me! I know and trust His timing is perfect. He’s just that cool. He revealed Himself in many ways to me this week. Here’s what was new to me:

Confirmation of His Presence: His presence I had so often seen only when alone with Him was confirmed from another brother or sister in Christ as we worshiped Him together. When a body of believers comes together in agreement of desiring God to reveal Himself, I think it brings Him great delight to come down and share in the moment with us. It was beautiful at times, hilarious at others, but REAL all of the time. 

Confirmation of His Voice: He’s more than words on a page; He’s more than a story! This week I was put into a community of disciples who not only were encouraging but confirmed to me what the Lord was speaking to me and what He was doing in my life. For the first time in my life, I actually had someone confirm the voice of the Lord I had heard. 

I won’t lie; I doubted it a few times. There were times when God was telling me to say something out loud during worship, and just when I had justified my way out of saying it, someone else said it out loud. SERIOUSLY! 

Dying to Self: God reminded me if I wasn’t willing to be used, He had plenty of willing people ready to be obedient. And if there wasn’t a person willing, He’s a big boy and can take care of Himself. 

I broke. 

I beat myself up a few times, for my lack of faith and obedience. Finally, I just let my pride die and began obeying His voice, even when I felt really stupid. It’s the voice I’ve always known, the Spirit who has always been alive in me, but He just began calling me to do things and use His Power beyond anything I’ve ever done before. 

The confirmation and agreement of the Holy Spirit between two people was something I’d never experienced. God has opened my eyes to the fact my experiences with His Spirit were not meant to be ONLY just me and Him. He loves to edify us through confirmation of His Spirit with each other! 
 
This form of community was new and revitalizing for me. Yes, He LOVES to minister to us one on one, but community living is for the building up of each other! Prophetic words of edification, exhortation, and comfort are ALWAYS good to build up our brothers and sisters! We should be doing this every day for one another!

 
Pray God continues to speak to me more and more, so I might better discern His voice and His Spirit leading me to move! 

 
To my L Squad Super Soakers and Team Hot Mess: There is no better time to share our stories with our family and friends than during these next 7 weeks! Let’s not forget what the Lord has done in our lives this past week! When we unite in 7 weeks we’re REALLY gonna bring it! 

To my family and friends who I am leaving for a year: You mean more to me than you know! I had so many times during training camp where all I could do was Praise the Lord for planting me in an environment that cultivated my Spiritual Growth and encouraged me to know our Amazing Lord and Savior!  

I know I was spared many hardships and heartaches in this world because of your love and protection. Thank you for being there for me, for raising me up to know the truth about our God! I know you will cover my squad with your prayers this year- thank you for being a part of our journey! I love you!