February 12, 2017
“get real w/Jesus: I need a second touch”
Bob Goff spoke at a Women’s Night in my church a few months back. And when I say this man spoke, I mean Jesus spoke through this man directly to me. Above and below this quote in my journal, are two other questions/quotes the Holy Spirit urged me to write down.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT? – are you willing to do what it takes”
“let Jesus take you to places you haven’t been before” (He must have meant this literally because I leave the country for the first time ever in 6 weeks)
What do I want? I want to become the woman He has set out to lead me to be. I want to learn how to shed the layers, how to cut it away, how to rise. Am I willing to do what it takes? If that means staying up until 3A.M. journaling and listening to Him speak, or that means following first, then yes I am willing.
Night 4 of training camp, we were given the task to complete team interviews. I had just earlier received 3 new little sisters and 2 new little brothers. What started as a 20 minute get to know you session, soon turned into a very late night of laughter, joy, and vulnerability. Amidst the tears and peace, the Lord urged me to write these words:
“My entire story is redeemed. Not just the bits and pieces I think are broken, but the ones that I don’t even want to think about are redeemed. My past relationships, experiences, troubles, actions are ALL redeemed. My struggles are redeemed, even the ones I deal with today”
OKAY COOL.
So we made our way back to our tents, were greeted along the way with a tiny toad, and eventually I sat in silence, eyes wide open staring at my “ceiling”. I was called to write more, and I’m grateful He has blessed me with this love for words in many forms. I sifted through to Isaiah 43. The first verse punched me right in the gut…
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine”
HOLLA I know Jesus, thank you very much. It’s like you were the one who wrote my journal entry or something.
But I also have no clue how to make the leap, how to cut it all away, how to just “change”
“Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence”
I’ve been a liar, a gossip, a fraud, lazy, naive, broken, a victim of my past.
“I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, more sins like the morning mist”
You mean I CAN use it, but it does not DEFINE me? You mean that this authenticity that I finally feel to live my life with intentionality in the boldest way possible is actually happening? Lord, you mean you’ve literally taken my heart out, wiped it clean, and that now I get to do the same?
Yes.
How can I be so sure? Because the very next day the Lord brought us women a women’s retreat. A women’s retreat where Rahab taught me that my history is NOT where I walk now, where Mary taught me that God does not fear my emotions, where Ruth taught me how to support, serve, and lift the women around me, and where Deborah reignited the fire in my soul for leadership, the right way. On October 22nd, 2017, I was lead to baptism by the Holy Spirit at Cornerstone Church. Jesus had my attention, but would soon send Bob to teach me to ask Jesus for that second touch. And on June 8th, 2018 the Lord gave me that second touch, and I recognized it by experiencing a second baptism, on June 13th, 2018, this time in front of all of those who He sent to stand by me.
About halfway through Everybody Always, Bob brings up a point of truth and conviction…
“I’ve been asking Him to help me see and know more about the things I don’t understand in my life and the lives of other people. Most of the time, I receive an indirect answer or no answer at all. Sometimes when we ask for an answer, God sends us a companion.”
He sent me to stand beside, protect, follow, and lead the beautiful humans in Rejoice Always.
Love, Cole
Taylor, Myself, Gail, Tori, Sarah Beth, Thomas
