I’m unsure how one sums up such a life changing year in one blog. Even every blog I wrote this year combined wouldn’t begin to really scratch the surface.
Yesterday as I walked up the stairs to my room I passed by a table. It was folded up and leaning against the wall. This particular table is cheetah print, a pretty wild table if you ask me. It’s been there 3 weeks but I hadn’t really noticed it. Today in particular I think God wanted me to really see it.
To me it’s a small reminder of how God has revealed himself to me this year.
I remember flying to training camp wondering if I was ‘granola’ enough for this kind of trip. Would I even fit in? Would they judge me? Was I a good enough Christian to even be going on a mission trip for a year?
Training camp opened my eyes to a lot of new ideas about God, but it was only the beginning. I spent my summer wondering if I really could leave America behind. I remember freaking out about going without things I’d defined myself by for so long. No makeup? Wear nasty clothes all year?
Not too far a cry from America, I reached Ireland to begin my first month on The Race. I encountered God in a new way that month, through cheetah print. I felt His presence more than I’d ever felt in my life. He taught me to pray specific prayers.
Our second month was the first of many unexpected changes. My team was to travel instead to Moldova not Romania. I’d never even heard of this country before. We were ushered in by an incredible family and shown that God’s love transcends any language barriers. This month I questioned why I wasn’t feeling much like a ‘missionary.’ God taught me to follow him in obedience even when I didn’t understand what He was trying to teach me.
At the beginning of my third month I had to lay down my love for Egypt, where we were supposed to go. Plans fell through and K squad ended up scattered throughout 3 countries in Eastern Europe. I found myself falling in love with Hungary, a place I never planned to be. This month rocked my world. I hit rock bottom at the beginning of the month, not wanting to worship, pray or even read my Bible. God taught me to be honest with my community, who encouraged me every step of the way. Our team split up and I ended up with half of Team Goodness Gracious with an INCREDIBLE missionary family in Budapest. God taught me the meaning of family. They were an amazing blessing and showed me how the body of Christ should truly operate. We were complete strangers one day and family the next. By the end of the month, God had given me unbridled passion for him. All because I was honest with Him about how I felt. He blessed me beyond belief.
Turkey was another unexpected twist to our route. Entering our first closed country brought surprising amounts of freedom to my life. I’m not sure when it happened but this month, despite it’s challenges, God released the chains I’d been living with. I could breathe. I didn’t have to feel guilt about my past. I didn’t have to live under the legalism religion places upon us. As I heard the Muslim call to prayer 5 times a day God reminded me I don”t have to do anything to win his love, I ALWAYS have access to it. My chains are gone; I’ve been set free!
December in the Holy Land sounded magical. This month was about abandonment. My first Christmas away from home and what’s more, we were on a technology ban. Halfway through the month I heard about my Dad needing spinal surgery and wanted to fly home. Instead, God asked me to lay my family down and trust Him despite how hard that was. I walked where Jesus walked yet unlike the Jews who worshipped at the temple and stood at the Wailing Wall I learned I could experience God in the simple places, like lying in bed, or sitting eating dinner. I learned God is not contained to any place or building. My first Christmas away from home was hard but taught me it’s true meaning. I understood the saying it is more blessed to give than to receive. We spent time as a squad worshipping together overlooking the Negev desert.
The New Year kicked off with all of K Squad on the news in Nairobi where we danced the night away underneath the stars and fireworks. Shortly after, my team headed to Uganda. This month I spent a lot of time grieving ‘my old life.’ God asked me to lay down my self in the form of a makeup fast. I was still allowing myself to be defined by things other than Him. Everything felt unfamiliar and frustrating. But God knew what He was doing.
God was in the business of redemption during the month of February. First, he redeemed Africa for me this month. I feel in love with Kitale and actually enjoyed my month instead of counting down the days. The biggest change this month came in the form of my team. We’d spent the last 6 months strongly disliking each other. This month God taught us to be a family. That despite all the hardships we’d endured He had been in the business of restoring us. We became Team Redeemed and ended our month white water rafting down the Nile River.
My last month in Africa brought me to a place I’d been to before, Tanzania. It also happened to be my birthday month. God allowed me to rest in him and lay my burdens down. I had spent a lot of my time moping around about not wanting to be in Africa anymore. God used my teammates to speak life over me and say the hard things to me about my attitude. He also blessed me with one of the most incredible birthdays. I’ve never felt so loved!
Thailand was the reason I signed up for The Race and I’d been anxiously awaiting this month. God awoke a passion for women and human trafficking in me this month. I spent the month with new team and group of 13 women in Phuket, Thailand doing bar ministry. I love knowing that if Jesus still walked the earth this is exactly the kind of place he’d be doing ministry. God taught me about being a light in the darkness and that despite what the world thinks God loves His children. He loves the women who work in the bars, he loves the men who purchase these women and he loves me all the same!
Our third closed country brought us to Vietnam, which was not at all what I expected. God showed me a sphere of influence America possesses and how we need to rise up and Christians need to be at the forefront of change. We need to wake up; we are called to be world changers, movers and shakers, true lovers of Christ.
Last stop, Cambodia, aka the sweat capital of the world. This month God has shown me endurance. I am tired, physically, spiritually and emotionally. He has sustained me this month. God has also revealed changes to me, preparing me for what’s next and how to incorporate all He’s revealed to me this year to life back home.
While it’s impossible to share everything that was a bit of how God no longer fits in the small box I had Him in at the beginning of the year. Can’t wait to share more of this year with all of you
