prin·cess [prin-sis, -ses, prin-ses] noun – self obsessed diva; more interested in comfort than growth.
re·hab [ree-hab] noun- a place of healthy restoration.
at home i love and serve Jesus. i’ve been on multiple mission trips. i’ve been in uncomfortable situations.
and i’ve been convinced that i was relying on God’s strength, not my own.
it wasn’t until i got here, to the jungle that i realized how selfish i really am and how much i live from a place of comfort. even in hard times, i’m determined to do it by myself.
in exodus, when God is leading the israelites out of egypt through the desert and to the promised land, they complain. they say (basically) “ugh! why can’t we go back to egypt!? at least there we had good food…”
and God is like, “BUT YOU WERE SLAVES!” and then He shows them how He can be their provider and strength.
and i think that is what God has been saying to me this month. when things got hard and i couldn’t do it on my own strength and i missed the comfort of home where i could… God lead me into a place of safety and gently said “but nicole, you were a slave. to your own selfishness.”
and it’s so true.
it’s really hard to face the ugliness of your own heart.
but it’s a little bit easier when you’re surrounded by a people of such grace. my team, our hosts, all the wonderful people we encountered in huaticocha. they so gracefully showed me what it means to rest in the strength of Him who is greater. what it means to live in the freedom that comes when you surrender your selfish heart to Him.
in philippians 4 paul writes “…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. i know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. i can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
so here i am, in the jungle, going through princess rehab. learning what it means to live in freedom. my life is awesome. and God is so good.
