Driving away from the blessed special needs school on our last day of ministry, I left feeling strangely broken hearted and frustrated. I watched the teachers waving us goodbye with sweet smiles on their faces. My heart broke for the first time saying goodbye to these amazing people for one reason. I could not tell them “goodbye, I will see you again.” This is so heart breaking because I couldn’t tell them about Jesus due to the Sharia Law here in Malaysia. This law states that Malay people are Muslim and it is illegal to tell them the gospel.
I worked with two beautiful teachers and helped them teach their classes. To say the least, their stories are inspiring- they have worked at this special needs school for 17 and 20 years. Their love for these students is overwhelming. They are patient, they never stop smiling or showing love, and they never complain about how much hard work they put in each and every day.
One teacher told me her husband passed away, leaving her to care for her seven children alone. She was so amazed with my story and how I left my family for a whole year to travel the world and “volunteer” in different places. To her, America is the dream place to live. She asked from a mother’s point of view, how did my mom let me, her daughter, travel to 11 different counties across the world? I told her how they struggled with the idea at first but are now at peace because they know this is where I am supposed to be. She could not understand the “peace” feeling fully because the ‘Giver of Peace’ was taken out of the equation. This trip just doesn’t make sense if you take the name of Jesus out of my story.
My heart broke that moment when I knew I had to hold my tongue when telling her that. It broke because for the first time, I do not have “freedom of speech” as in America. There are many things, we as Americans take advantage in our everyday life. One being- tell anyone anything you have on your heart. I wanted to tell these beautiful women the true reason why I was there to “help teach” was because the Lord loves me and has called me to love. The true reason why their core being pours out love on those children everyday is because their creator pours out unending love on them everyday He gives them the gift of life.
I wanted to tell these teachers how much they reflect the face of Jesus to these students and to me. How they inspire me to look more like Jesus. I wanted to tell them I would be praying for them and that I will see them again, but I couldn’t. I wanted to pray with the teacher, the single mom of 7 children, who told me she just had a biopsy of a lump in her breast instead of praying for her by myself. I wanted to tell her Jesus is sovereign and the ultimate healer and comforter from the moment He gave His life for her.
So, for the first time my heart felt the burden that is discussed in Romans 9:2. The burden of the not having the choice to choose. The burden of amazing people never getting the opportunity to fully know and experience our Creator in an intimate way.
Romans 10:14-15 “But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”
