I literally just copied and pasted my last journal entry. I have been writing my prayers out and wanted to be really vulnerable with my heart and what Jesus is currently walking me through right now during this Christmas… enjoy!
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for making me human. Thank you for my human weakness. Thank you for making me weak. I am physically tired this month and my stomach has been hurting a lot this month. Some days, I feel spiritually stagnant in my pursuit for you. I am also emotionally weak as I miss my family this Christmas holiday. I miss my American life and the comfort of being in control over my life, but then again- my life was never “mine” to begin with.
I am dependent on you when I am lacking something, especially when I am lacking almost everything. You make me strong when I am allowing you to be my strength. Thank you for breaking me so I can be reminded of the truth Jesus.
YOU are my energy. YOU are my goal in life. YOU are my first love and first family. YOU are my home. Whatever country I am in, YOU are here with me.
Thank you for my strength today, for my joy, and for my energy. Thank you speaking to me today and letting me hear your voice as you speak 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 to me. Thank you for pouring your safety and peace over me Lord. For where I am weak, you are strong Jesus.
“My grace is all you need Nicole. My power works best in weakness. You are weak, but with me, you are strong Nicole.” -2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Thank you Jesus for coming down here as a weak human to be born to spend 33 years serving others and then dying a criminal death. Thank you for filling in the gap of the new covenant. Thank you for saving me and dying for the worst me. You truly are the reason for the season. Christmas is not about snow, presents, grand food to eat, it’s not even about being with family. It is truly about celebrating you and all you have done. For being the ultimate sacrifice for our sins and salvation. For making us holy in the eyes of our Lord to where we are not remembered by our sins but by the love you lavished on each and every one of us as it is said in Hebrews 9 and 10.
Thank you for making me weak so you could be my strength. I pray I can proclaim “It is well with my soul” everyday because you are the same yesterday, today, and forever. Make that my heart posture no matter what situation I am going through. No matter what country I am in, where I am sleeping, whether I am 1 mile or 1000 miles from my family, if I am physically sick or healthy, whether I am playing with children or laying in a tent- let me sing my praises to you and your name.
Amen.
