I’m overwhelmed by the abundance of support that recently flooded my in-box, mail box, support account and heart, and truly humbled by the willingness of so many to give generously and encourage enthusiastically. These sacrificial gifts have my soul overflowing with joy but I can’t help but wonder “Do I deserve this generosity and how can I ever be grateful enough?” I guess that is why they say it is easier to give than it is to receive. Or is it?
Without divulging too much about training camp (for the sake of future campers) I learned a valuable lesson about giving in an exercise designed to mimic what would happen if the airlines lost the luggage of half of our group of 58. Relieved to be in the “lucky” group those of us with all of our supplies were asked to pair up with a bag-less teammate for the night. Originally unaffected by needing to share my tent, I quickly realized the loss of extra tent space meant my backpack got the boot and would be spending the night in the open air with bugs and other unknown nocturnals. Before I put my bag to bed outside on the dirty wet ground I learned more of my supplies were needed by my new tent roomie, and other bag-less teammates. Mourning the loss of the debut wear, I sadly removed the REI tags from three new long sleeve shirts, parted with a pair of pants, clean socks, and my favorite Patagonia down jacket. While immediately it felt good to help others in need, I quickly started battling embarrassing feelings of worry and stress. Will I get these pieces of clothing back? Will they be clean enough to wear a second or third time at camp? These are just a couple of many shamefully selfish, materialistic, controlling, obsessive thoughts running through my mind. The most bothersome thought of all was how disgusted I was with myself for 1) not being a cheerful giver and 2) worrying about meaningless “things” more than the well being of my fellow teammates.
Like egg yolks and lightening bugs, this is another seemingly insignificant yet personally powerful example of how God is using this journey to refine me and transform my heart. Between this luggage lesson and the many generous sacrificial and cheerful givers God has placed in my life I’m learning to love and be loved as He loves.
Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
2 Corinthians 9:7-8
Therefore I tell you do not worry about your life what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?
Matthew 6:25-27
All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
2 Corinthians 4:15
