I have been learning lots of lessons, in less than even a month, and also simple realizations like that I take my religious freedom as a Canadian forgratned. Its been crazy not being able to tell people about Jesus, for it being unsafe for me to wear my cross.
When we got to Gua Masung at the start of the month I was tired from our travel 'day' [aka 5 days haha], and the enemy was taking advantage of that. So I decided to get some sleep but that first I needed to take some time in the word. I want to turn to Jesus in everything, before anything else. I read Joshua 1 where the Israelites are told four times in chapter one alone to be strong and courageous. Joshua 1:6 “Be strong and courageous for you shall cause this people to inherit the land..”, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” So instead of being weak, I need to make a choice, to be strong and courageous in the Lord, the Lord is with me! In Luke 9:23 Christ calls us to deny ourselves and daily take up our cross. I know that God called me to go, and I'm on the race now but I still need to walk daily in obediance and take up my cross. Part of why I am here is to break my comfort zone, for God to be my comfort zone, to long for Him, to be with and please Him before all else.
My first week here I struggled with knowing I was where I was supposed to be, and wanting to be there, but also wanting the comforts of home. One day when I was struggling with this I opened my Bible to a folded piece of paper from camp with worship songs on it. One of them being Be Thou My Vision:
Be thou my vision, oh Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that thou art
Thou my best thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light
And the Lord just reminded me, He is my best everything, I need to long for Him, Lord you need to be my everything! It's ok to miss home, and want those comforts, but that can't be the focus, I need to be able to give those things up for and to God.
When we got into Lipis we knew that that was where God wanted us. Our contact told us that God used us to more than lay a foundation for their work there, the centre was the talk of the town. It was encouraging to hear that as we only taught for 4 days, and it's easy to feel like we weren't making a difference. But all we can do is be obedient and plant the seed, it's God that makes it grow.
I know that high preference does not mean expecting it in return, and so my selfish side kicks in and says to love people to an extent, and when it takes to much then its ok to focus on me, wrong! That isn't love! And God is working on that in me. The Table Talk issue from June [which I read in September haha] said in one of the articles “supernaturally, you are a new person credited with the righteousness of Christ yet still experiencing “the evil that I do not want to do” [Romans 7:19].” I know that there is so much that God has to teach me this year, and that is a little intimidating, but exciting too.
I'm going to try to post a blog about Australia soon! Much love (:
