As i sat in a small village church off a dirt path that is consistently covered in dust due to the uneven spread of rock, I couldn’t help but to reflect on how wild God is to bring me to this place – to Cambodia. A young man who spoke Khmer then stood up to share his story of redemption. His name was Emmanuel.
He had a firm stature that clearly displayed that Christ had radically done something to propel him to speak. This twenty-something had a wild passion that was unexplainably evident. Emmanuel lit up the room as He shared entire life story. He shared all the mess and chaos God saved him from. He used to be a drug addict: using meth as a method of escape and a formula for pain. His life was a downward spiral due to poor choices that inevitably had the end result of rehab. In rehab, He encountered Jesus through the ministry we work daily with here in Siem Reap. A ministry that pours out the gospel, brings in speakers to share testimonies, and teach worship songs.
That morning – Emmanuel stood planted as a son of God, with a degree in engineering, and with a new life that embodied the heart of the same exact Jesus our team traveled here to worship. He literally fell on his knees and held the Holy Bible straight in the air, unashamed of the gospel after he spoke. He displayed bravery and courage with his bold testimony. In that village service, God began to FULLY renew my past brokenness. God made it crystal clear that He alone has given me my story for a purpose.
You see, I am not much different than Emmanuel. I made horrible choices 5 years ago after I found out my x-fiancé had cheated on me. I began to take pills and drink heavily as a method to numb my broken heart. Life was one big party on the outside while I was crumbling to pieces on the inside. I wanted to do anything and everything to mask the pain I felt. BUT GOD saved me. Despite me. Despite my mess. Jesus met me in my destruction. Thanks to Jesus and the freedom He has given me, I no longer make those past choices as I continue to pursue character construction. I realized that morning that I have no reason to be ashamed of my past. As I sat staring at the faces of an entirely different culture, I heard a language unknown to me sing for the same exact freedom I have found by choosing to follow Christ.
Jesus invites all of humanity – all of us into a choice. We can choose to take a path on our own or we can choose to take the one path that leads to a life we never imagined.
He gives us a chance to really live when we choose to take the narrow path. Seems too good to be true? I can testify with numerous stories that the blessing that stems from this less travelled path is without a doubt the most fulfilling, most freeing, most unexplainable form of gratitude I have ever experienced.
Christ lights up every step we take as we make our way to seek out that path. The reality is, that path will always remain paved whether we choose to walk down it or not; BUT, if we choose in, walking the path less traveled has the ability to transform lives. Not only your own life, but all of the lives around you as well.
It introduces beauty and newness into our life testimony. Our story.
It defines what we do and why.
It shapes our character.
It all starts when we stop operating out of fear but rather in faith.
It is not easy, but it is worth every single step.
The realization that there really is something so much BIGGER that exists beyond what you could possibly comprehend on your own strength.
That there is a path that leads to light, true joy, and a life that will illuminate your soul daily.
A belief in Jesus.
‘This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.‘
-1 John 1:5-10
Fact is: We all Sin and can be influenced by the world around us.
Choice is: We can choose to follow Jesus or we can choose to follow this world.
You either choose to pick up your cross daily and follow Jesus or you don’t. It is either you strive to love like Jesus or you are lovers of this world: your self, other people, your career, or even your religion will feed your mind and blind your heart to forget the freedom that is available on the cross.
I knew leaving home and embarking on this missional journey would be a challenge. An epic journey that would change everything.
And it has.
It has given me a new awareness, a new lens to see the world through, a new way of telling the story God has given me.
“I wanted movement and not a clam course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life.” (Leo Tolstoy)
I now live a life halfway across the world from home that leaves me with no other option but to die to myself daily in order to serve and love others the way Jesus loves. This kind of love is pure. It pursues. It fights for change. It fuels my passions and desires. It is infalliable. It has no wrongs. It is unconditional. Real. So raw that I can literally feel it light up my soul every single morning I wake up as it pushes me further into the unknown.
This all began with a choice I had to choose. To cash in my chips and give my all to Jesus, believe His plan for my life is better than mine, and to walk willingly down the path less traveled.
I have recently been reading a book titled Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer. This book was passed to me from a friend I met in Nepal named Sudin. His adventurous spirit was so contagious. We quickly stirred up lengthly conversation and established a forever friendship. With his encouragement, I have picked up the book without putting it down. It’s a story that documents the real life of Chris McCandless, a man who gave up everything he had and entered the wilderness without a plan seeking to fulfill the void He had in His heart. I have realized through reading the book that the void in this man’s life was Jesus.
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me wil never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” -John 8:12
“Set up road signs; put up guideposts. Take note of the highway, the road that you take.” -Jeremiah 31:21
Jesus and His love is radical. It is what propels the wild heart of life – and life abundantly.
‘I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.’ -John 10:9-10
Jesus makes life so beautiful when we allow Him to change us. When we choose to follow Jesus – He renews us. If there is one saying I have learned thus far as a missionary it is to: ‘LET GO and LET GOD.’
If you would of told me even a year ago I would be in Cambodia sitting in some small village, feeling fully restored, and loving on people I have never met in my life – I would have called you insane. Yet, Here I am. Feeling more alive than ever and falling more in love with Jesus every day. It is the kind of wild love that will leave your spirit soaring.
We were born to love. All of us. Every color, size, tribe, tongue, and culture. We can choose to roam around this Earth all the days of our life and use up “our time” for nonsense OR we can choose to live for a purpose.
I know with every ounce of my being that the Lord is using me to serve the world because I made that choice to walk the path that leads to life. A choice we all have the ability to make. The only question is, What will you choose?
With Jesus there is no end to love.
His love is free.
His love is wild.
