For the past year there has been a longing in my soul that I can’t describe. Something screaming out, “THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE!” It wasn’t until I started reading Kingdom Journeys by Seth Barnes that I was given a word for it, “restlessness.” The restlessness started during my senior year of college when I was reading Acts. In a nutshell, the book of Act begins with the apostles receiving the Holy Spirit and then set off on a wild adventure filled with community, joy, miracles, trials, and opposition to fulfill the great commission given by Christ. I was astounded by God’s work in the lives of these messengers and how it impacted everyone around them. I knew there was more to life despite how the world says your post-college life should look. Its around that time when I started feeling intensely called to world race. The God-given restlessness pushed me to commit the next year of my life to His work in the nations. It pushed me to ask friends and family for money, relying on God for provision and to tune out any voice saying that this venture wasn’t practical.
Training camp was an incredible conformation that there really is so much more. I absolutely love my squad, my team, and the organization I’m going with. I could tell by the intense worship, the empowering teachings, and instant fellowship that these people really believed that the Holy Spirit who worked in the book of Acts was the same one that was moving powerfully in the room as we prayed.
The word was confirmed during a physical healing that took place during camp. One of our squad-mates, Sara, sprained her ankle on the last leg of a three mile hike that was also fitness requirement for the race. She spent the next day needing the assistance of two other people to get around and was planning to do the hike again in several weeks when it was healed. God had other plans… We gathered around the band for worship that night as we had for most of training camp. The worship at training camp was incredible. I’ve never seen a group of people so enthusiastic about God and free in the spirit. I stood a few seats down from Sara and remember praying in reference to the worship, “God this is awesome, but show me something I’ve never seen before.” God was quick to respond as minutes later one of our squad coaches came over and prayed over Sara’s ankle. I have no idea what she saying, until I heard the words “Get Up.” Sara stood up with tears of joy on her face and began walking as if nothing had happened. My jaw dropped as I had just witnessed a miracle before my eyes. I’ve heard stories of God healing, but nothing can substitute for being a witness. It is definitely encouraging when the restlessness that leads you to abandon everything go meets the confirmation that there really is so much more… and your just scratching the surface. Sara completed the 3 mile hike two days later and passed with flying colors!
Restlessness is a gift that gives you a strong urge to dive into whatever crisis stirs your heart. After a friend of mine told me stories of his journey filming the Syrian refugee route, I prayed to go where he was. After I was exposed to evils of human trafficking through a presentation at CSU, I felt strongly called to help. After the floods in Baton Rouge God led me to get home as possible. The urge to leave and dive into crisis can be pretty irrational seeing as I would not know what to do or how to help in crisis without the guidance of others. Regardless, the itch cannot be scratched by staying still.
This first semester outside of college has been a wonderful experience filled with travel, adventure, friendship weddings, and lots of love. I wasn’t in the same place for more than two weeks up until training camp, and my restless soul was satisfied walking with God in that season. Now, training camp is over and after everything I experienced in those 10 days its hard to settle for anything less than the constant presence of God in my life. I’m more restless than ever and the feels like a curse when your forced to stand still, make money, and pray for all of these issues in these countries without being able to be there. God is good and my schedule is filled. I’m working a ton, getting vaccines, doing ministry where I can, but being busy just makes you think about going…less.
I’m being challenged to grow in patience, contentment, and thankfulness.
“God please satisfy the restless souls of your children with the kingdom journeys only you can give. Give us clear opportunities to serve you where we are and make the most of our time. Holy Spirit bear patience in lives of my squad mates as I’m not going through this alone. I ask this in the name of Jesus…Amen”
