While on a bus from where we had our debrief to where we were to meet our ministry hosts It began to rain very lightly. It put this emotion of peace in my mind and spirit. I’ve been asked how I experience God and I tell them in times of natural chaos. During extreme rains with heavy thunder and a crap ton of lightning. Where anything and everything can go wrong. In all it’s power and terrifying intensity, I find peace.
So, here it goes. This is what I wrote on that bus ride a week and a half ago. I titled it, As I Sit.
I Look at the trees
I Look at the ground.
I Look all around
It was all made for me.
I admire the beauty
In every little detail
From the lines on a bee
To the hay being bailed.
You can smell the flowers
From the field ever blooming.
There is so much to see and
So much to admire
in all the little things
Looking for the path that water takes whenever it comes. Seeing how over time rocks are shaped to fit where they are. They way the sand and dirt may give way to let things pass. Or the smallest footprint left behind.
As I sit
I listen to the birds.
I can hear the leaves of the trees being moved by the slightest breeze. To watch the clouds roll by in the sky. Some with speed some with leisure. As they get darker you know the atmosphere is beginning to change. The air begins to thicken and the scent begins to change. As I listen. I can hear the rain in the distance. As it comes closer I can tell if it’s light and cooling. Or thunderous and brooding. Both of which I do not mind. For I begin to hope for the former but would not run for from the latter. For when there is ferocity there is another beauty.
It gets closer.
It’s almost on me now. I know it’s going to be heavy and will drown out the sound of my thoughts with the clash the drops will make with the ground beneath me. As I sit I feel a cool wind begin to rise. It sends chills down my spine and the hair on my body stands on end. The birds are no longer chirping and the animals have begun scurrying. Yet, here I am. Still, quiet and ready. My body does not move. Here as I sit.
The first drops are light. They’re cooling and gentle as it runs down the back of my head and down my body. But this is just the beginning. The wind has picked up and all sounds of wildlife have ceased. Even the flowers have closed and are bracing for what is coming. I hear it approaching from behind me. Sounding like a herd of horses running at full speed towards me. It it’s coming fast.
All I can smell is rain.
As I rap my arms around my legs, I place my head between my knees and prepare for the beating that will begin.
This time the water is cold and unforgiving. I become heavy, cold and soaked almost instantaneously. The rain is no longer gentle but rather abusive. As it strikes my body and the ground around. My body instinctively begins to move. Wanting to get out of the rain. And yet, yet I still choose to sit. I can feel my heart beat. And my lungs breathe. I can feel the heat of body begin to cool with the water that will soon consume me. As it continues I lift my head up high. I open my eyes to a squint to see around me.
As I sit. The flowers that were once blooming are now bent and half submerged. The trees sound like a thunderous crowd. The ground. Begins to shape and disappear to get rid of the water. The little channels and paths I had seen had grown and expanded. Branches are beginning to fall and thunder begins to roll. And yet. I sit. My shoulders and back begin to hurt from the lash upon lash the rain is giving me. As I lower my head once more. The water begins to rush down my face and rap around my chin only to pour down like a faucet to the ground. The thunder groans and cracks. Getting louder each time. It begins to shake the ground and cause my heart to jump. I Look back up and I can no longer see the flowers. I can no longer see the trees. The only thing I can see is the rain and the ground immediately around me. But even that is beginning to disappear as the water begins to rise still. Here I am, alone. Sitting beneath the battle above me. And yet. My heart beat is still slow, my breathing is deep. I am not afraid. In this, I have found peace. In all the chaos that is around me. The things I cannot see. Completely at the mercy of the rain upon my body. The only thing I can hear now is the rain upon the stream I am now sitting in.
And still, the only thing I feel Is peace.
True peace
