In Honor of my final week of the World Race, let me let you in on some of my favorite journal entries from the past ¾ year. These are some of my thoughts that I’ve chosen to put on paper from around the world. Enjoy!
1/30/18 (South Africa)
Some days are lighter than others. Some days offer true rest. The rest that brings a freshness to the body. I liken the feeling of rest to this: a shower and a shave, add a well-fitting flannel, good jeans, and a freshly brewed cup of coffee. With the addition of a good book, fresh air and laughter? It is in these moments that we find bliss. This feeling is like that of a good friend. This is refreshing and easy on the soul. I think that being away from America and home; makes me appreciate the little things more and more. No amount of money can ever compare to a burger and a beer with friends. Nothing quite compares to the feeling of a loved one on your shoulder. The feeling of Eli and Paloma holding onto my leg. Sitting in my old truck on a cold morning with a cup of coffee. Yeah, these things are capable of bringing life , rest, love, and contentment. They truly are good gifts.
How much more so then; l do these gifts point to an even better giver? How deep the Father’s love for us? What an amazing life, to be filled and desire only the Father’s goodness. His timing is truly good. How could my timing or planning ever compare? I simply cannot say at any point that my timing has ever fallen truer than the Father’s.
2/2/18 (South Africa)
Observation is easy, reflection; true reflection, is hard. To actually take a step back, be still, and observe. That is something not easily accomplished. The ironic part about journaling and reflecting is that we might never know ourselves as correctly as our pens do. They feel and exercise the tension and confusion that our cluttered minds so often carry. I think that I often carry more weight than is needed. And it can be exhausting, mentally draining, and pointless.
I believe that one of the things that my mind is currently working through is to continue to let go. To keep putting things back in the altar again and again. Surrender: a white flag. These actions of submission to the Father actually lead to an embrace. Inside that embrace? Freedom of the heart, soul, mind and body. All of these beautifully crafted together to begin to form completion, wholeness, one-ness, and true intimacy. Maybe this leads to the identity of a true and complete self.
February 11, 2018 (Swaziland)
There are times in which the soul receives rest in brevity and candor. Sometimes all we get it all weneed. It certainly puts a new spin on being thankful for our daily bread. It provides a rest for the soul, hope for the heart, and a breathe of fresh air for the mind. How then should anything under heaven ruin what the Lord has ordained?
Unknown Date and Location
To look out among the sea of endless faces and countless souls, is to tempt the impossible calling of the Father. To see the true color of every soul, every moment of heartache and pain, every improbably moment of joy…that would be truly overwhelming . My feeble mind and timid heart could not begin to offer what is needed for the collective. And if I cannot offer what they need, then I ask: who am I to judge?
No Date Recorded (Philippines)
Real life: scary as hell. A family, a job, the future…all the usual suspects who are found to be typically guilty of breaking a man. But; maybe, that’s the point! It is possible that life is really too big to do on our own. Maybe we have to trust God a little more. Real life is an absolute challenge that presents the option of evolving into an all consuming black hole. I think that we are capable of making it amazing through surrender to the Father, or it will make an amazing lesson out of us. Our truest vulnerability emerges at these points of such extreme fragility.
5/21/18 (Philippines)
How am I supposed to deal with real heartbreak? I don’t know how this life is supposed to work anymore. In healing and restoration; what can be done about heartache that seemingly has no end? For a week now I have lived in and around the red light district in the most tourist pilfered areas of the Philippines. And it is crippling. It is one of the most brutal scenes the Father has ever asked me to lay my hands on.
It is in the most broken parts of our heart that we might offer the greatest healing to others. Our broken hearts provide the most beautiful ground for the greatest Creator/ The Gardner: who brings all beauty to full bloom. It might be the moment that the heart is broken and torn like soil; that we reach the highest point of potential for healing. At this precise moment we need the most healing. Maybe healing is the beginning of the road to wholeness. Wholeness is hard when we seek completion in an incomplete world. The love of the father is contentedness, and yet how he has wired us to crave love and touch. And in my current pain and heartbreak, I find myself at a crossroad or a breaking point. And it is on this ground that I might find the best place to allow the Father to grow HIS joy and HIS peace. And that leads to union, completeness, and wholeness.
