Can’t lie to you, this won’t be my finest piece. Probably just the mental ramblings of an angsty 21 year old gazing out of a bus window. Long stares off into the distance peering into the unknown, shrouded with a false sense of wisdom and mental enlightenment. I digress, enjoy this mental offload.
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Maybe that’s the point. Maybe we aren’t called just to ask for the small things in life. Maybe; just maybe, we are called to ask for more. Why do I say this? Because it might just be insulting for us to ask so little of such a Big God.
Why then do I continually ask for such small things? The things that a Father would provide anyway? I’ve never once had to go to my parents and beg them for food. I’ve never had to beg them for food. I’ve never had to beg them for the necessities provided in everyday life. And it’s funny, because the things that we yearn for the most are the things that we need the most and yet lack. And I know that might sound redundant or obvious, but hear me out. We are wired to be in tune with our needs and in our needs, we find ways to meet them. Because where there is a need that would imply that there is a hole or there is a gap that must be filled.
Maybe that’s why we go around looking for love, Because it is the very breathe of our existence and yet it is what we lack the most. We crave love and intimacy; and yet, love, is what we have been inherently given since our conception. The Lord has very physically, created us out of a desire of love and therefore we are hardwired to need it, to want it, and to crave it.
The sad truth, is because we are so broken by our own doing, we often replace the Love that we need with momentary mental and spiritual numbing agents. It’s no surprise that we are so lost. The thing that we need for our existence, from the purpose of our existence is the thing we lack the most.
Ok, so what?
If we are created out of love, and have a need for love-we search for it, we smoke to feel it, we eat to be filled with it, we try and take it to bed-then why don’t we ever look inside of ourselves to the Father that wired us to need it: and ask for it.
Psalm 2:8 says, “Ask me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possessions.”
And so then, for the thing we need most to fulfill our purpose in life: Love God and love others- should we not ask for it?
And if this is the God that we serve, then will He not grant? I dare you to ask.
He yearns to give us good things, and yet we very rarely accept it. In a hilariously dry way, when we get what we need the most; we reject it. We run from it. When it is shown to us, we allow our pasts hurts and wounds to shield us from the healing and the love that we need. For all of our advancements, and progression, for all of our evolution, for all of our ‘greatness’, we are comically and devastatingly wounded, with the Healer standing almost hilariously close to us.
I think thats a peice of what ive been walking through. I really just thought of this jsckednon way too much coffee on a bus ride to my new home in South Africa. I’m actually doing amazing. I’m happy. For the first time in a long time: I feel at peace. I feel joyful. And maybe, just maybe, I’m getting the healing I need. And I’m letting it change me. Kinda like it.
