So one of the things that I really struggled with this month in Bolivia, especially in the beginning part, was doubting that I could share Christ’s love with people despite the language barrier. I speak zero Spanish (okay maybe I know like 50 random words, but for all intensive purposes I can by no means hold a conversation). During the last couple months this didn’t really faze me much because we were mostly working with kids who don’t really care if you can’t speak their language (they mostly think it’s funny); and it also helped that we had translators in both countries as well. But here in Bolivia, we aren’t working with kids and there are no translators (except for the couple people on my team who can get by with the language). Now that didn’t really faze me much either because we still hadn’t figured out exactly what kind of ministry the Lord wanted us to do, but once we felt that He was calling us to street ministry and building relationships with the homeless people in La Paz, I was intimidated and began to doubt that the Lord could overcome my inabilities.
At the beginning of the month, my team listened to a sermon podcast from Justin’s pastor back home and it was about how we often put limits on God and His power and put Him in a box. He gave a couple examples including timing and religion, but as I began to dwell on the boxes that I put God in, I realized that I often limit Him according to my inabilities. If I’m not strong enough or skilled enough to accomplish something, then the Lord isn’t going to be able to use me in that area to bring about His Kingdom. And that was the lie that the devil was planting deep within me during those first couple days in Bolivia.
When we first started doing street ministry, Justin, Katrina, and I felt called to do worship in various plazas around the area that our hostel was in and to use that as a way of inviting God’s Spirit to fall over the people/city and to pray for people passing by. It was a really great afternoon and I definitely felt the Lord’s presence, but I also felt Him calling me to go out into the streets the next day and talk with homeless people and pray for them. I didn’t really want to do it because of fears of what people would think of me and how effective I’d be in ministering to them. But I want to follow what the Lord’s leading me into despite how I feel about it, so I psyched myself up for it and thought about how it wasn’t going to be as bad as I think it will be…on one condition: I was going to be paired with someone on my team who spoke some Spanish. That basically leaves everyone except Alyssa.
But it’s funny how God often just disregards our conditions and pushes us in the places He knows we doubt Him in. Cause of all the people Justin had me go with, he chose Alyssa. At first I was like, Justin…how dumb are you? You know that I hardly speak Spanish and Alyssa is even worse (sad, but true). How are we ever going to effectively talk and share Christ’s love with people who speak zero English? Wouldn’t it make more sense to split up the “Spanish-speakers” on the team? But despite these thoughts, I knew God wanted me to lay aside my insecurities and to just trust Him…and so warily, I did.
When we first set off, Alyssa and I shared our feelings about how ridiculous our afternoon was going to look like. Apparently she was feeling the same way that I was feeling when she found out she was paired with me. But we just laughed it off and set off for our afternoon of ministry without really expecting much to happen.
After walking for a while, we passed an elderly homeless woman who was begging. At first, we walked by her because we were still nervous about how we could approach her, but then we decided on buying her some food and bringing it back to her and sitting down next to her. And so after first introducing ourselves and giving her the food and asking how she was doing, we just sat there next to her as she ate. We just watched the people pass by and silently prayed over the woman as she silently sat and ate. I was still wrestling with ideas of this being pointless, but it was cool to experience the life of someone who sits on the side of the road all day and watches people pass her by without giving her a second-look (of course, everyone was looking at her now because two “Gringos” were sitting next to her, but that’s besides the point). It really just gave me a new perspective of what these people go through and for that I was grateful. And as we prepared to leave, God really showed me just how much our actions (regardless of how small they seemed to me) meant to this woman because you could just see how grateful she was for us. Her eyes were wet with tears and she couldn’t stop saying “gracias, gracias” to us. There hasn’t been a woman that I’ve met that hasn’t kissed my hand as many times as this lady (except for maybe you mom haha). It was such an emotional and touching experience for me as well and she will always be someone I remember.
But God wasn’t done revealing the weight of my actions just yet. About 3 days later my team was walking down the street to get ice cream (like every other night) when all of a sudden a woman came up to Alyssa with a smile on her face and said hi to her and even said her name. It took me a little bit to remember who the woman was, but it was a different lady that we sat next to the same day as the previous story. This moment was especially cool because that day the lady didn’t seem as thrilled for us being by her. She didn’t talk as much as the first lady and she didn’t seem as grateful for us giving her bread and spending time with her. I left her thinking that we didn’t really affect her much. But then to see her come up to us on the street, recognize us, talk with us, and even remember Alyssa’s name (she didn’t remember mine, but I’ve forgiven her) was simply awesome! When my team did highs and lows for the week later that night, I said that that was my high because it really convinced me that God uses even our simple actions to affect and encourage people in immense ways as long as we are willing to follow into what He’s leading us to. All we did was sit next to this lady and besides saying our names for a brief second and asking a couple questions, we were pretty silent…just silently praying for her. But somehow God used it to accomplish His purposes, and that was something that I needed to see and experience. How cool and awesome is He???
There are so many more amazing stories to share, but I’ll save them for future blogs so stay tuned!! Thanks for all your prayers and support! I love you all!
