Growing up, I found pride in my nickname: Four Eyes. Any kid that grew up in the 90’s who wore glasses understood that the name Four Eyes came as a standard name due to the giant circles of prescribed eye-wear we lugged to and fro each and every day. Those things were massive and completely inconvenient. But at the time, they were in style and and as long as I could see the tree I was climbing or the ball I was trying to hit, I could care less about the size. Having glasses was a hassle, yes, but having them meant I could see what I was doing and do it extremely well. At the end of the day, I was so happy I could see what I was trying to do that I even embraced the nickname.
There were days where I remember breaking my glasses. Those were the days where it felt Hades itself had opened up and breathed its blurry vengeance over the surface of my pupils. Those of you who have had glasses in the past or wear them now know exactly the feeling I am talking about. It’s a helpless feeling. A feeling of uncertainty and unrest. I have horrible eyesight as it is, and for those of you who know eyesight numbers and lingo and what not, I am about a -9.0 in each eye. It’s brutal. So that instrument, those spectacles of Odin, was my very wall between a world of normalcy and comfort and a world of fear and non-clarity. Those glasses, no matter how large or luggish they were, was my lifeline. Without my glasses, I could not see where I was going nor where I had been, I could not determine distance nor brightness, nor could I see potential obstacles and barriers that were in my way if in fact I did try and advance forward or backward.
What’s strange to think about, however, is that although I have a very difficult time determining shapes, figures distances, and colors without my glasses, I am not completely blind. Not having my glasses or contacts in leaves me in a limbo-like state between clarity and blindness. I cannot see things clearly, but I know that certain objects exist and in what direction they are from me. This, friends, is where I feel as though my life has been over the course of my lifetime.
In the weeks leading up to right now (five weeks from launch), I feel as though I have been able to see that God exists in the distance, but He has always been blurry to me. I’ve never really had that deep clarity that we believe that every Christian should at least have. I’ve seen Him work in specific areas of my life, I’ve seen Him in the trips I have taken and the people I have met, but just how far away or close He was at that time was unknown, as was what He looked like in the moment. I could sense that He was there, but could not quite grasp Him in fine detail. However, the week before Training Camp and the weeks following, I feel as though God is grabbing His set of spectacles He has made for me and has started to fit them to my face.
For example, I have horrible road rage. I am the type of guy that you would hate to cut off because I probably would speed up, get in front of you, and then ride my trusty brakes down to a blazing 25 on a 55 mph road. I’m the kind of guy who gets outraged if someone doesn’t use a blinker or thinks that it’s cool to go five miles an hour under the speed limit in the left lane. It’s flat out insane. But for some reason, these past few weeks have gone completely different. I have had multiple times where it seemed as though people came to a complete stop for five seconds before making their turn that they’ve had their signal on for two minutes for. Instead of cursing Thor’s beard hairs and pounding on my steering wheel, I have had this intense sense of peace about it all. I would instead be thinking about what the guy may have in his car that makes him turn tortoise slow and how I hope he makes it home safely.
It’s not just the road rage, I feel like God has been opening up my eyes to how He sees the world in many areas of my life. It feels as though that He sees many things way differently than I have ever seen things. It’s crazy to think about because maybe even though I may think I can see clearly with my own eyes, I may just be seeing the blurriness I have when I don’t have God’s glasses on. Crazy to think about, right? But hey, if instances like the road rage example happen more and more as a result of God giving me the glasses He made for me to wear, I certainly would embrace the name Four Eyes all the more.
