For those of you who don't know, I have been part of Campus Crusade for Christ, or Cru, throughout my entire college career here at USC. One of the big things that Cru does here is have a fall and spring retreat every year. I can vividly remember my first fall retreat, from going back to a childhood camp to playing signs for the first time to finding out that Gen (my discipler for 2+ years and a great friend of mine) is great at remembering birthdays. Fall retreat my freshman year was my first real introduction to Cru, and I have been so blessed to be part of it since. I can go on for a long time about what Cru has meant to me these last few years, but I will save that for another blog. Today I want to talk about the spring retreat we just had over President's day weekend.
Cru retreats are always one of the highlights of my semester, and I have luckily gone to 7/8 possible retreats during my time here. It's always great to get away for a weekend with your closest friends, meet new people that are awesome, and have a blast doing it all. Fall retreats are usually more content-oriented, which always challenged me and kick-started my school year off right. Spring retreats, on the other hand, were usually more community-focused and allowed for lots of fellowship and bonding. Yes, each retreat is different, but I loved both so much and always had a blast the entire weekend, even if I didn't get nearly enough sleep.
Fall Retreat 2007, where it all started. Check out my hair!
Ok, enough reminiscing. I tend to be a very sentimental/nostalgic kind of person, so "lasts" for me are especially difficult. And this spring retreat was my last USC Cru retreat. It was so bittersweet. I wanted to savor the entire weekend but I also knew that it would come to a close very quickly. This retreat was also cool because I got to plan it with 2 other awesome people AND I got to give one of the senior talks (every spring retreat we have several seniors give talks instead of having a staff person speak). Planning and organizing the retreat was fun and challenging at the same time, but I enjoying doing that kind of stuff (aka behind-the-scenes) so it was all good. Talking, on the other hand, is a whole other beast.
I am not a super outgoing, love-talking-in-big-groups kind of person, so the whole idea of giving a talk was super nerve-racking. What was I going to say? Would people enjoy hearing me speak? What kind of "wisdom" should I try and leave with the underclassmen? Combine this with the stress of prepping for the retreat, and I found myself looking at a blank sheet of paper on Friday night (my talk was on Sunday night).
After some careful/random considerations, I decided to make my theme "Touché, God." I use random words like touché all the time, and I even began saying "touché, God" all the time as well. Check out this blog for a better idea of what i mean. I got excited about my topic, but I was still super nervous in prepping and planning what exactly I'd say, let alone the fact that I had to say it in front of a bunch of people.
Fast forward to Sunday night at the beach. I'm up in about 15 minutes, and I am super nervous. Everything I wrote sounds stupid to me, and I'm freaking out. So I give it up to God. I ask for peace and that His will be done. Of course as I say this, part of me is still thinking I'm gonna blow this big time. But as I got closer to sharing, I felt this peace that I know was God. It was like He was saying "Nick, don't worry about this. I got your back, remember?" From that point on, I knew God was with me. I knew He was in what I was saying. I knew He was calming my nerves and giving me boldness in front of everyone.
And the funny part was that after my talk, I was fired up about the Lord, but I just had to laugh and say "Touché, God" because yet again I doubted and He came through. Everything I had talked about a few minutes before I was saying to myself again. It's amazing how over and over again I try to rely on myself or believe that my way is better than God's, and yet every time God is waiting patiently for us to come back because He is there with open arms saying "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." He is so good and I don't think we will every be able to fully grasp the depths of His love for us, especially considering how often we turn our backs on Him or try to do it all on our own. It never works, and He's always right; His way is the best way. Why do I always doubt? Touché, God.
Overall, I had an absolute blast at my last spring retreat, and am so sad that this era of my life is coming to a close. Since I only told you about one part of the weekend, I'll give you my top 5 favorite parts about this retreat.
5. Go to a beautiful beach near San Luis Obispo and hang out with friends/the bonfire later that night. Separate beaches, but I'm still counting them as the number in my list.
4. Night activities, whether they be volleyball, knock-out, or line dancing (seriously, so much fun. Line dancing is the best)
3. Signs.* This is the defining game of Cru retreats. It's super fun and we stay up way past our bedtimes to play, but we don't care. Also, as fun as this game is, it just isn't the same back at school. I was super bummed this was my last retreat to experience this, but I got to have one last epic session of it Sunday night.
2. Getting to hear Jared, Megan, and Andrew speak. They are all so awesome and it was so cool hearing what they wanted to share with the rest of the movement.
1. Spending time with all my closest friends and getting to meet new people/deepening relationships with everyone. The community within Cru has been one of the best parts of my time in college, and I am so thankful for it. It was great to have one last hurrah with all these awesome people for one more weekend.
I have been so blessed by this group of people. Thanks guys!
So that's that. I'm kind of long-winded when it comes to blogs, but hopefully that will change as I blog more. Also, prepare for many more sentimental/sappy posts in the months to come. I'm fully stoked for the race but it'll be really tough for me to end my time at USC. I kinda freaking loved college so it won't be easy.
*This game sounds dumb/weird when you first learn how to play, but I assure you, if you try it out you will be up until 3 am multiple nights in a row playing. Also, I'm bringing this to the race, so team, get ready.
