I haven’t written a blog in a while, even though so much has happened in my life. And I think that is because I don’t want to process it all yet. I don’t want to admit I’m 22, a college graduate, and about to leave for a year.
I’m super nostalgic, so these last few weeks have been tough. I think I really started reminiscing on April 20th at the second to last Campus Crusade meeting. That was a month ago. A month of reminiscing about the past, loving the present, and to be honest, kind of dreading the future. That’s not to say I’m not stoked about the World Race, but rather that I have loved every second of college and am not ready to give it up. There was a while where I was bummed to leave, but ready to go. Then on the night before graduation at 1am, my roommate and I skateboarded around campus and reminisced about all the memories we had there. It was so much fun and made me not want to leave college all over again.
I know there is a lot more to decompress about this last month, and hopefully I write about that sometime. But right now I want to talk about something else that has been tough this last month.
Goodbyes.
I’m just going to throw it out there and say goodbyes suck. It is so tough saying bye to all my friends in college, both the ones that I’ve maybe only had for a few months, like the freshmen, of those who have been with me since freshman year. And it’s especially bad because when I say goodbye, it’s usually for at least a year. So when I say bye to freshman, the next time I’ll see them, they will be juniors. Juniors! That’s nuts.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my girlfriend for a year, minus the few days I’ll see her at the end of June. That’s not easy, and certainly not fun. But I have to do it. And it’s a part of life.
I know God is sovereign and that he will take care of me when I miss these guys. I also know that God is awesome and is going to bless my next year. Right now, as I’m sitting on a plane heading to Training Camp, I’m feeling weirder about leaving college than excitement for the Race, but I know that’s all going to change in about an hour. I’m ready for God to rock me this week and reignite the fire he’s placed in my heart for the world. I’m ready to meet my family for the next year and love on them. I’m ready to become spiritually prepared for my next stage of life. This last month has meant a lot more nostalgia and a lot less Jesus time than I like, so I can’t wait to have so much time to grow deeper with Him.
This week is going to be intense, and I can’t wait.
