I arrived at TC and was immediately greeted by my newfound friend Borey. He works at the shop 7 days a week from 1 – 10 PM after he spends the morning in university studying English. This guy is a rock star and we have quickly become friends. I sat down and got a tea to start. I thought the first thing I would do was free write, which if anyone is unfamiliar with this you basically pick up a pen and write without stopping. Here is what followed:
Father –
I have sinned against you. My Heart pursues its own desire not yours. My flesh is self-indulgent and lacks sacrifice. I worship an idol of distraction and self-preservation. I find myself content on focusing on the things of the world. Father I know and confess with my mouth that you have called me to more. To continue to sit idle is my own death. Father I cry out for your hand; for your wisdom. Don’t leave me like you left Judah and Israel. Lord plant Jeremiah 6:16 in my heart and in the marrow of my bones. Till your glory returns. Amen.
I thought to myself wow that was a profound and heavy word from God in the same moment. I reflected on this for quite and went to the Lord in prayer in many different areas. Afterward I though it was time to step it up a notch so I ordered an espresso followed by a hot tea, which on an empty stomach can put some wind in your sail. I opened to Jeremiah where I have been camped out the last couple of days and came to Jeremiah 18. This is the potter’s hand verse, it says,
“This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: Go down to the potter’s house, and there U will give you my message. So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord cam to me: O House of Israel, can I not do with you as the potter does? declares the Lord. Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand.”
These verses triggered multiple thoughts in my mind. I will try to step you through them. First a little background on my experience with clay. A few years back When I was coming out of college I met a guy by the name of Ford who would later become my roommate. I love this guy and if I had to describe him I would say think tone muscle climber with curly hair, who loves to ride a bike everywhere and smoke a pipe. He knows everyone you know plus the rest of the city and has probably philosophizing with them about wild cranes in Africa and whether Jesus would drink his coffee black or with cream. He isn’t consumed by the trivial and would give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it. Moreover, he at the time was a potter who taught at a private art school. We would grab Pad Thai after his night class would end, play some obscure indie music and throw clay. These sessions as I call them in the studio came at a pivotal time in my life. I was transitioning away from a time of independence to a dependence on God. I had lost my focus in my college years but through friendships like Ford found my way back.
It was in this studio that God revealed so much of who He was. I remember sitting at the wheel with my inexperience and trying to force this peace of earth to form to my liking. I would watch Ford and notice his techniques. He was aware that the clay was fragile. He would apply consistent pressure and blunt force was the rarity. He saw the molding process as dynamic in nature verses one of linear progression. He knew when more water was needed to soften the surface. He could pick up a tool and in a moment remove with precision undesired clay. He could sit down and quickly produce nothing less than beauty and yet I could sit there for hours on end and still have marred clay in my hands. God used this experience to say Nick I created Ford’s hands, how better then are mine? I walked away with the impression that I needed to stop functioning out of my own inexperience and trust the masters.
God took this memory and repositioned it on my heart today for our team. We come from different walks but we are all His pieces of earth. We are letting Him form our life that’s not the struggle here. What we as individuals and team members now face is the firing process. Only clay that has been properly formed and fired will come out whole. His desire is to not only be in relationship with us due to His authorship but to create vessels from which he can pour his blessing out on others. Therefore, if you are not a vessel or yours has a defect in its structure because you crafted it with your own hands, how than can God use you?
