I just want to share a little something that I thought that was pretty cool that God has done for me recently. I have been stressing out lately because I haven’t made any time to work on my stuff for the race. I get so overwhelmed half of the time to where I give up on what I am trying to accomplish. Then I get upset with myself for giving up; which makes me question if I am supposed to go on the race and I start tearing myself down and pointing out flaws. It’s this vicious cycle that I do a lot. I had a revelation one Sunday that you would think it would be common sense but out of nowhere the thought of “I haven’t been bringing this to God like I should… I’ve been trying to do it on my own”. I was encouraged to talk with God about it more and see what would happen. So I started praying on my way to work to help me get through the day, my needs, etc.
I had planned on getting some work done on one of my days off and I made the very bad decision to watch one episode on the lovely but yet very distracting thing called Netflix… You know how it is. You start watching one episode of your favorite tv show on there and before you realize you have watched half a season… yeah… well that is exactly what happened to me. After I realized that I had wasted my day on Netflix I started to get really irritated with myself but instead of sulking in that feeling I decided to shutoff my computer. I had the urge to check how my fundraising was going and I saw that someone had anonymously donated a $1,000 to my trip. I felt as if God was telling me to stop stressing, and that this whole thing is in His hands. I started to pray and I asked him to help me with all of this, to help me stop beating myself up in my head and stressing out over everything. I asked him this about ten times because while I was talking to him the thoughts of “you’re not good enough, give up, etc.” were still trying to weasel their way in. I decided to read out of my little Jesus Calling devotional and it said,
“TRUST ME IN ALL YOUR THOUGHTS. I know that some thoughts are unconscious or semiconscious, and I do not hold you responsible for those. But you can direct conscious thoughts much more than you may realize. Practice thinking in certain ways-trusting Me, thanking Me- and those thoughts become more natural. Reject negative or sinful thoughts as soon as you become aware of them. Don’t try to hide them from Me; confess them and leave them with Me. Go on your way lightheartedly. This method of controlling your thoughts will keep your mind in My Presence and your feet on the path of Peace.”
Psalm 20:7; 1 John 1:9; Luke 1:79
All I could do at that moment was say thank You over and over again and while I was thanking Him there was this peace that I began to feel. It was refreshing. So I encourage you all as I try to remind myself that we need to give ourselves a little break and stop beating ourselves up and just give it to God instead of stressing because at the end of the day it is all in His hands.
