“Look Simba, everything the light touches is our Kingdom” – Mufasa (The Lion King)
Wednesday, June 7. 4:30pm. Gainesville, GA. The scene unfolds.
20 eager hearts beating with excitement.
20 big packs overflowing with gear.
20 friendships formed without reservation.
20 images of God bringing the gospel to the nations.
Stop. Rewind.
“Don’t anticipate, participate,” I was repeating this to myself time and again as training camp approached. The reason being that what I anticipate is often never what I actually experience.
With a heavy heart, my body journeyed into training camp leaving my mind back home. Mom had just received an invasive surgery to remove a potentially cancerous tumor, requiring the unanticipated removal of several other organs along with it. I had to leave her in the ICU to pack for camp, and head out early the following morning.
Everything happened so quickly that processing didn’t seem like an option. Not only did this make me feel distant from camp, but it also made me feel distant from the Lord.
Fast forward. Play.
20 images of God bringing the gospel to the nations. A conglomeration of unique personalities hand-picked for THIS squad, and this squad alone. In this moment, I can’t think of a more beautiful picture.
An image isn’t perfect, but finds purpose in reflecting the fullness of its original as best it can. As images of God, we attempt to do the same. To reflect His fullness on earth as it is in Heaven. Perfectly imperfect. Always becoming. Sons. Daughters. The church.
With all the feeling and emotion I can muster, I truly do mean it when I say I love my squad. Each person brings life to the body of Christ and teaches me more about Jesus every day.
We trained in truth together, worshipped our Father together, tried interesting food together, slept under the stars together, walked through harsh realities together, endured bucket showers together, built community together, shared a bed with spiders together, laughed uncontrollably together, cried together, prayed together, grew together. Wow.
Over the course of 10 days, a group of 20 Jesus-loving strangers became forever friends; Y squad, my squad. That was His plan from the beginning! The thought of 11 months together gives me the heart tickles, and the heart tickles are the best.
Stop. Scene selection. Night two.
Walking back to camp after a nice, long bucket shower, the cold water wasn’t the only source of goosebumps. A single light of a headlamp shining from within each tent greeted us; just as fireflies light up a field, so our headlamps lit up our camp that night.
First, I smiled. Then, I listened. “Light in the darkness.” I hear you, Papa.
The Lord revealed this Truth to me three separate times at training camp, and I’m still processing through it. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5 ESV). This will be my anthem.
The story continues. Night nine.
I found myself sleeping on an “airport” floor, a field simulation as part of our training. Before drifting off, I finally got word. Mom has been diagnosed with stage 2 adrenal carcinoma. Cancer.
Vulnerability is a work in progress for me, so the squad didn’t know in full detail what she was going through; but they didn’t need to know everything. Just before heading home, I stood in mom’s place as Y squad placed their hands over me in prayer. For healing. For comfort. For God’s perfect peace to wash over mom in the midst of her anxiety and pain.
I’ve been home with her for 48 hours now, and I’m repeating again: “Don’t anticipate, participate.” The doctor is hopeful that all the cancer was removed, and I got to pray over her in Jesus’ name (!!!)
I’m beginning to feel the distance between myself and the Holy Spirit grow increasingly shorter, as I choose not to give Satan a foothold but to let God sit on the throne of my heart. Please pray that Mom does the same.
WHY squad: thanks for making my days a little better, my steps a little peppier, and my smiles a little brighter.
Mentors & trainers (Austin, Ashley, Seth, Carson, Sydney, Katie, Ruanne & Dan): thanks for reminding me that feelings aren’t “ew” and that I am a daughter of the one true King.
If everything the Light touches provides a glimpse of the Kingdom at work, then let us be Christ’s ambassadors in a world that desperately needs Him.
& this is only the beginning.
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