In the last week or so my world has been rocked by two events that have caused me to ask a lot of questions (and there have been other events that fit the same theme and questions being asked). Now, I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know if my thoughts are right, I’m still wrestling with these things, but I feel compelled to share.
The first event was the death of a friend from high school. We weren’t close anymore, but just the frailty of life and how suddenly life can end just shook me. It reminded me that we only have so many moments and we can’t waste those moments, especially cause even if our lives are not cut short, there will be those around us who’s lives are cut short and we won’t get any more time with those people. The last week as I’ve prepared to go to launch and leave I’ve had little things remind me of this friend and it makes me sad that I didn’t make the most of the opportunities I had with him.
The second event that really sparked all the questions was a neat story but God brought in some tough questions to a really neat story. So, 2 of my squad mates were over $2000 short of the amount they need in order to leave on the Race and they were down to their final hours. If they didn’t get the money they were going to go home and not get to go on the Race. And my squad rallied, we ended up donating all the money they needed out of pocket, which is insane. However, as I was excited and processing how awesome this was, I ended up raising a lot of questions. Here is what I wrote about the questions and how I’ve answered them so far…
Why does it take drastic measures for people to take action and to unify?
A lot of it is human nature. Trials, tests, hard times, they all force people to choose. You can wait, procrastinate, etc for only so long before you finally have to choose. Will you do it or not? Will you choose to act or wimp out? You always reach a point where you have to choose.
So why the heck do we wait? Why doesn’t that point come sooner? We know the end result, we know we will eventually have to choose, we know we are straining people’s emotions by dragging them into the unknown, the hurt, the struggle, so why do we prolong it? Why don’t we care enough at the beginning to act then. I heard someone say, I heard rumors and rumblings a few days ago but I didn’t do anything. Jesus waited, he waited with Lazarus, so that God’s glory might be displayed through a resurrection instead of a healing. The thing is, beyond that we don’t know why. Verse 15 states that Jesus waited so that the disciples might believe. Jesus was correcting their unbelief or more specifically their misguided belief. They didn’t know lol understand a physical resurrection was in God’s repertoire, even though Elijah and/or Elisha did one in the OT. But that begs the questions, what do we believe now and does waiting correct our unbelief? I think waiting does 2 things, 1. It shows us that we can accomplish things that at first seemed beyond us, BUT 2. It shows our lack of faith that no one is willing to step out right away and just do, trusting that what they’ve done will either be enough or it will be used by God to spur others on to do/be enough. We doubt if God is big enough or we are enough to be used. We question everything and worry about all the possibilities of what could go wrong, rather trusting in faith that everything will be alright.I also think about when Jesus talks about always being ready for his return because we don’t know when he will return. We can’t leave things to the last minute, why we do, I don’t know. It’s a bad habit of the human race. When we leave things to the last minute or ignore things/people we end up losing out, hurting other, and not fulfilling the calling on our lives.
I understand the psychology a little, but why do we wait until the 11th hour? Why don’t we act when we first hear of a problem?
Sometimes we might go to prayer or make a pledge in the 3rd hour, but we never fully commit, we never fully act until the very last second. Why are we not stirred to action earlier? I think a lot of it is fear and mistrust and lack of faith. We fear the unknown, we fear the future, that which we cannot see and we absolutely do not trust other people.
Is it a lack of faith?
i would say that is definitely a part of it but I don’t think it is the whole thing. There is something more to the human mind and how we understand and deal with issues, conflict, stress, and how we go about overcoming it. Part of it I think might be a “hero” mentality, where you want to come in at the end and save the day, get the girl, something like that… even if you remain anonymous you still want to have that idea in your heart that you saved the day and we’re the big show, the big thing, even if no one else knows, almost a pride, feel-good thing.I think we might also fear the problem, the conflict. We don’t really want to confront it, we would rather avoid it, neglect it, disregard it, hope it goes away. As much as we claim to love fighting, we love watching fights, we try to maintain a macho persona of being a fighter, but in reality, no one really fights to fight unless trapped in a corner and even then we still might try to run first. I mean, think about all the problems we have in the world… why? Because people don’t want to confront issues and problems, they don’t want to fight those things, they don’t want to deal with them, to struggle through them, they would rather run from them and hope they go away. Even professional fighters and such, they might fight for a living but when the rubber meets the road they don’t really want to fight, they would rather avoid or flee.
Is it failing to truly desire something until the very end?
I think it’s that fight or flight and always wanting to run. Eventually some/all problems require you to make a decision, so you wait until you can’t run any longer and then you fight, you finally choose a side and you go all out. Maybe this is the black and white personality in me. But, most decisions, particularly when it’s as simple as acting or not, require a choice. You might act differently from someone else, but at least you’re still acting. It might be wrong, but you have finally made a decision and taken a stance. Because if you give a half-crap effort, your stance is that you don’t really care, you don’t care enough to go all in. You basically took the high road, which is ultimately going against whatever action you we’re considering taking.
A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. Why do we add extra conflict and wait to the very end to act? Maybe we think we are creating a more exciting or appealing story when in reality we are hurting those around us as they wait for us or others to act… and many times we are too detached to care about the pain we might be causing as we create and control the story rather Han capturing it or living in it.
What compels us to wait rather than acting? What makes us say “no” for so long or to “waffle” for so long before finally saying “yes”? And what makes us finally say yes? I know I’m this way, I’m in the same boat as everyone else. Why is this? Why can’t we hear a problem and act right away? Why do we wait so stinking long?
