For those of you who know me, you know that before I came on this race, I was particular about keeping other peoples germs to themselves.
You want to try my strawberry-banana smoothie?
Sure, let me pour a little into another cup for you.
Want to take a nap in my bed?
Please, make sure your feet are clean…either way, I'm stilling washing my sheets when you leave.
You want to offer me some of the skittles in your hands?
No, thank you. (What I really mean is: I'll devour the ones you haven't touched).
I knew that being on this trip would be difficult for me at times. I knew that my teammates would probably give me a hard time, and that some might even be offended that I won't share my water. Not because I'm being selfish, but because I literally can't handle your saliva on my mouthpiece. But I think they finally understand I'm really being stretched, and that I'm really trying to do better…about some things.
So, to make light of the struggles I've faced, I've compiled a list of things this germophobe has had to overcome so far 🙂
Since starting the race…
The number of times I've had an anxiety attack from taking the Lord's supper from one cup: 6
Average number of times I shower per week: 3-4
Want clean feet in bed? Gotta whip out those baby wipes.
Bad diarrhea from drinking the local water? Clean up with some baby wipes.
Haven't showered in days? Use some baby wipes, then add your fifth layer of deodorant on those pits.
No water to wash your hands before dinner? I'll have a baby wipe, please.
Little girl wants to play with your hair, but has dirt and boogers all over her hands? Give her a baby wipe. Or just let her play with it anyways.
The same couch that everyone sits on throughout the day is also my bed… So I cover it with my sleeping bag liner and sleeping bag to go to sleep at night.
I haven't washed my towel in 2 1/2 weeks…. Good thing I'm taking less showers.
We use the same metal basin to make a bonfire and roast marshmallows as we do to burn our used toilet paper.
I'm eating chicken soup again. I think they just killed it in the backyard. There's the heart floating at the top, that's my favorite part.
It's time to wash the dishes, let's just dip the cups in water and rub a little… All clean!
You accidentally forgot to put your personal water bottle in your backpack. Every kid within a hundred yards has now drank from it.
Found a mouse in the refrigerator? No big deal. Set it free and keep drinkin' that apple juice.
Washing dishes that have touched raw chicken juice is no different from washing the rest of the dishes. We just pray daily against salmonella.
Squatty potties and outhouses are normal to me. And our neighbor uses our excrement as fertilizer.
A fly landed in the soup. Push it aside and keep eating.
My bread is moldy. Eat around it.
I haven't washed a single fruit since I've been on this trip.
I've eaten tons of fruit.
But…
I still can't handle you touching my loofah, I will always wear flip flops in the shower, and my water bottle is for my lips only, don't you dare try to convince me otherwise.
So, for you future anti-germ racers who may be a little paranoid about your trip. Just know that the Lord will watch over you. He WILL sanctify a lot of the not-so-clean things you will encounter.
And I promise you, your teammates will STILL love you even when you don't let them drink after you… Just be ready to endure a lot of this:
"[Insert your name here], can I try that food? Oh… I forgot… You're a germaphobe."
It gets old, but it's the price we have to pay.
