“You are not needed,” was the unsettling voice that spoke louder to me than the praises of 200 millennials in the room. There I was in mid worship on the first day of training camp, and all I hear in my mind was “what you bring to the table Nettie, is not good enough.” With hands cupping my face in shame, I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I didn’t feel worthy of even being in a room of radicals who loved Jesus and literally were giving up their lives to make Him famous. Who am I to be here, and be called to do this? I thought. It was then that a World Race leader put her hand on my back and said these words:
“You KNOW the voice of God, and you chose Jesus.”
That affirmation made my shameful tears turn into a wow, you have no idea what that means to me tears. I knew the voice of God. He spoke to me in a radical way before at the start of this journey and those words “You are not needed” I knew were not from my God.
I haven’t shared this story yet but it’s pinnacle to the start of this journey. Missions has been on my heart ever since I was young, and since October last year my passion for it grew stronger. So I researched mission organizations and the World Race website was one that came up. I had heard about the World Race, and saw that they had a “Are you fit for the World Race?” quiz. Why not, I thought, I’ll take the quiz. After taking the quiz and watching the websites video about the organization, I knew this was my heart.
I was a 4th grade teacher, but all throughout the year I couldn’t get the passion of going on the World Race out of my mind. I kept praying that God would show me what to do next. I wanted to do His will but still wasn’t 100% sure what that was. Ever been there? Have you ever cried out to God many times and the only thing you hear is crickets? I did, and I thought God where are you? Are you listening? So I figured if I wrote my prayer out to God in a journal maybe then I’d hear from Him.
This past April I had to meet with my boss to discuss plans for the new year to come. I was still wrestling with what to do. Whether to pursue missions with the World Race or continue teaching. Since I had been praying over this for literally MONTHS I came to a breaking point and it was on the drive to work that I screamed out to the Lord
“Jesus take away my job from me, if it means you’re calling me to do the World Race!”
Woah, did I really just ask God to take away my job? Yes, a thousand times yes, if it meant pursuing missions overseas was what the Lord was calling me to do. When I got to school, I did the daily routine of teaching. It was during my break that I met with my boss. My palms were sweating and thoughts were streaming through my mind, of what to do or say.
“I would like to continue teaching 4th grade next year,” was the request I spoke. As I sat there in the chair awaiting a response, I heard the most provoking words I never expected. “That is great Nettie, we’ve loved having you here unfortunately, we do not have a position for you next year.”
WHAT? I was speechless yet reassured of one thing, Jesus answers prayers. I knew in that moment, that was the voice of God. I could do nothing by smile in excitement for what the Lord had called me to next. Although I loved my job, my passion for missions was growing stronger. That day Jesus made it clear that this was the new journey He was taking me on.
Shortly after that, the Lord woke me up one night to read over my old journal. I found a letter I wrote back in October 2016 to God in desperation with these words:
“Jesus what about these dreams to go on more missions trips that you’ve put in my heart? I really feel like I need to work for some mission organization to grow deeper in you. Help me Jesus, send me someone to show me and provide an opportunity for me elsewhere only if it’s your will. Who knows I might be right where you always want me to further your Kingdom but then I think back to my Africa trip and stand in awe knowing there are many people out there that need you and don’t know you at all. Jesus, I just want to give it up to follow you.”
I wrote these words to the Lord in October and literally a few months later in April, He showed me what to do.
The second day at training camp for the World Race, one of our team coaches stated that each member of the body of Christ is necessary. He pointed to each one of us and said these words that meant more to me than he’ll ever know, “We NEED you.” It was in that moment that I recognized, this is the word of the Lord speaking. This is why I give up my career to go. This is the same voice that beckoned me on the start of this journey and this is the voice that will lead me to the nations.
