Shortly the squirming turned into screaming. I felt like I had enough pressure built up inside to launch a satellite into orbit and the countdown had begun. I had to take action fast or otherwise things were about to get embarrassing. I said a small prayer, “Lord help me.” And I kid you not, right after I uttered those words the bus began to slow down and pulled off into a driveway of a restaurant. This was surprising because we had been driving in the middle of nowhere Tanzania and nothing else was around besides trees, mountains, and air.
Now I was sitting almost all the way in the back of the bus so I figured everyone else in front of me would reach the bathroom before I could and there would be a long line by the time I got out. So my plan was to take some toilet paper that I had on hand (this has become normal for me) and run out behind some tropical tree or bush to relieve myself. But when I stepped out of the bus and identified the bathroom and I saw no line forming. I decided to check it out. I stepped into the bathroom and to my amazement found myself in African Heaven.
I looked around and saw at least 20 urinals and 6 squaty potties. I had never seen so many toilets in one place in Africa before. I am serious. Not only were there more than enough toilets but the cleanliness of the bathroom could match any 5 star hotel. The floor was made of beautiful white tiles with artistic diamond shapes. The golden afternoon sun was even dancing off the floor from shadows formed by the sun, leaves and a cool breeze out the window. I stepped into the nearest holy chamber and to add to my euphoric experience found a complete roll of the finest African toilet paper. I squatted down, sighed, and let kingdom come.
