Recently, I had an overwhelming fear about going into Cambodia. Yes, I was fearful and afraid. I was afraid of the unknown, I was scared because we are walking into a ministry setting that isn’t structured. The fear of stepping across the border from Thailand to Cambodia overwhelmed my heart and mind. In this moment I couldn’t control anything I wanted to control. However, what I could control was my attitude and perspective on what road laid ahead. Would I let my fear consume me and distract me from the real reason I had been called to Cambodia? To be real, it did for a couple days. With lots of tears and stank faces I was seeking the Lord for courage and joy; I read John 1:16 This verse speaks about grace and the grace upon grace the Lord has for us; every single one of us. In that very moment I found myself in a coffee shop crying because I got so distracted. I was more concerned about my own comfort then actually being a light for the Kingdom in Cambodia. As I sat there repenting to the Father for only being concerned about myself, He gave me grace. He gives us so much grace but also calls us to give grace to ourselves. Giving Grace to myself and living with the purpose of the Father’s Kingdom in mind resulted in courage to walk through the unknown with Him. It was all about changing my perspective from being back on the Father and not on myself. Upon arrival in Cambodia I’ve felt the most at home; since I left home. Cambodia is flat, no mountains, it has a bright big blue sky, it has many gravel roads, many farms, and many loving and caring people. The Lord knew He was taking me to a place I would feel His comfort and peace, I just had to trust Him with my unknown.
