A few weeks ago I received some tough news. It left me asking: “Did I let people down? Did I let God down?” I knew I would find out a lot about my character.
It was all worth it.
That morning, my response was simply: let’s worship. I wanted to sing. I wanted to try to give thanks. A squad-mate of mine, Travis, and I happened to be up visiting two women’s teams in Changlun, Malaysia, and thankfully the house we were staying in had a room devoted to prayer. Travis turned on some music, and we found solitude.
While I was lying there on the floor, I had the closest experience to a vision that I have ever had. I wasn’t “magically” transported; I didn’t hear heavenly music; but I found myself in what I can only describe as a court of the Lord. I don’t remember much about the court because my focus was turned immediately to the left, where a figure in white was about to come around a large column.
My heart began beating fast. My eyes were locked on the spot where the figure would come around the column, my gaze fixed firmly on the space where I would first catch a glimpse of Him. The figure was so clearly, Jesus.
And then he turned the corner, and our eyes locked. It’s the most unforgettable moment of my life.
I’ve had moments before where Jesus has spoken profoundly to me of his love for me, God’s love for me. But this was different. In that fixed gaze of his, and my returned gaze, he put all my questions to bay and communicated so beautifully, “I know how much you love me. I know, Nathan.”
I was a mess after that. “Right in the middle of tears—that’s where the dance starts and joy is first felt.”
The only other way I might describe this is that moment you would hope to have with your wife or husband. That moment you look at one another and you know that you know that you know. Have you ever seen “The Holiday?” If not, and I surmise this might be the case for a number of my readers, there is a scene where Jude Law and Cameron Diaz, one of the romantic pairs, have had to say goodbye to one another…until Cameron (yes, first name basis here) decides to return and meets Mr. Law at this quaint, little pub. He doesn’t actually expect that she will be showing up, but he’s sure hoping. And then she does, and that moment happens. Cue sappy music.
Well, the Jesus-and-yours-truly moment was a whole lot better. Jesus is the ultimate romantic. I promise you.
A few nights earlier some of the women, Travis, and I had been talking about how girls will write that Jesus is “their man.” And someone mentioned, “Yah, it’s kind of weird…” My response was: “Well, it’s probably a little stranger when a guy says ‘He’s my man’.” We had a good laugh about that.
Apparently, Jesus likes the last laugh.
I am my beloved’s, and He is mine. He is jealous for me. Sorry, women, He’s my man! He came a few days after Valentine’s Day but He was sure on time. If I can receive everyone from this place of intimacy, it is going to turn the world right side up.
