I’m in Romania.
Home of Nadia Comaneci, Transylvania’s Dracula, the Carpathian Mountains, and Gypsy tears (said in a Borat voice…but HBO Borat, not movie Borat. Movie Borat was excessive.)
I’ve mentioned before that I want to write a great story with my life. My story begins to have character development when I begin to listen better. Let me try to explain.
Two nights ago we were having a squad worship session. I was distracted and upset. Upset that I was made to sit in on worship that I didn’t want to be a part of; upset the World Cup final was going on and I have missed every game this year except the first two because I was in post communist village in Ukraine; upset that I feel like I have a harder time entering into a place of worship than the masses; and upset that sometimes I feel like I fake it.
There are fifty plus people worshiping in this room and I am in the back sitting on the couch journaling that this is stupid. Not that the World Race is stupid, or that being in Romania is stupid, just that its stupid that I ask God that I want to hear from Him and don’t feel like I do, that I want him to pour out his Spirit over me like he does others.
So I get bored in worship. I get tired of the same scene I’ve seen in church all my life because it doesn’t affect me. And then I become cynical and skeptical of my faith.
I think part of me went on this thing so that I could see miracles so that I wouldn’t have so much doubt about my own faith sometimes. I mean let’s be honest. Sometimes Christianity sounds a little crazy. Adam and Eve talking to a snake, eating some pomegranate thing, which leads to us having a sin nature for doing so. What I am trying to say is that it takes a bit of faith to believe in anything right. If you are an atheist you have to have a great deal of faith to believe in chance, fate, or simply nothing at all.
So then it comes back to me just wanting to see a miracle. To hear God’s voice clearly. That’s it then. That’s what I want. Why shouldn’t I pray for miracles?
Maybe it’s selfish to want it just to prove my faith, but even the strongest of Christians need a little reinforcement that what they believe is true and changes people’s lives. This is getting long. So here are the cliff notes before the character development comes.
A girl on our squad who I feel like is very adapt to hearing God’s voice came up to me after worship and told me she had something to tell me. I told her I didn’t want to hear it. I wish I could give you a Jonathan Safran Foer description of Brittany Priest but I’ll just tell you she carries a tambourine with her because God wanted her to do it as a sign of joy. The girl has a spirit about her.
This is what she tells me. “God told me when we were singing ‘Rain Down’ that God is going to pour out his Spirit over Nathan Salley on this race.”
