To be honest I am tired at this stage in my life. Tired of being out of school and not feeling like I am doing what I am supposed to do; tired of feeling stagnant in my walk with the Lord; tired of complaining; and just tired of being tired.
But I love the community of amazing friends I have in Fort Collins! I love how comfortable it is up here. But I guess for me right now, that’s just it, I’m too comfortable. I was afraid that when I came back from working in the mountains a year and a half ago that I would get complacent in Fort Collins and not end up going out and doing what I really felt led to do, because, well, it is so comfortable up here. So I got accepted to the Peace Corps and waited. And waited. All the while unsure if this was exactly what I was supposed to really do. Nine months into the application process and after already being nominated in May I got a call saying I had been declined because of medical reasons. I wondered why I couldn’t have some basic medical problems and work in foreign countries. I took it as the Lord saying he has something different in store for me.
My sister called me about six months ago saying she found this great missions program looking around online thinking about me and what I should do. She said she watched the World Race video and it made her cry. I didn’t think too much about it for two reasons. One, I was locked in with Peace Corps at the time. And two, my sister can be emotional. The funny thing is I cried too when watched it. And I still tear up when I see the videos because something is stirring in me to take the scriptures literally.
Isaiah 1:17 tells us to, “learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” I don’t believe this was not a polite suggestions but a biblical mandate for how to live as a Christian.
“The World Race is an 11-month Christian mission trip to 11 different countries around the world, and it’s not your typical missions experience.” There was a time that I prayed to the Lord to break me. Just take me and break me and mold me into who you want me to be. Not exactly a fun prayer to pray. I feel like I will be broke on this trip. I will see, feel, smell, taste, and touch brokenness and in turn be broken.
But whatever the reasons are though, I feel led to go.
I feel the Lord telling me over and over that I haven’t gone through so many things in my life to not live a Crazy life for the Lord. There’s that word again. Crazy.
