They said The World Race was going to be hard. They were right.
Things were uncomfortable; cultures were opposite of my own, fights with teammates, food that fought my palette, and sickness that scarred me for weeks – not to mention no air conditioning, and oh yeah… wifi… forget it. There was no such thing as a comfort zone. But in that desperation, there was life – and life abundant. As usual, that which is challenging, stretching, and sometimes down right hard leads to the most growth and the fondest memories. But what happens when you leave the race and find yourself right back where you started? God picks you up and sets you right where you left off: Your Comfort Zone.
Trust me, I love it here. Yes, there is reverse culture shock. You hear stories of people breaking down in Walmart from so many choices. I didn’t have that problem. Hot showers, unlimited wifi, freedom to drive my own car: I counted all these things supreme blessings. My old roommates even picked me up at the airport with a diet mountain dew and a box of cheeze-its. My life was perfect. But as time passed and the newness wore off, the blessings became normal, and of all that I had I took for granted: my relationship with God was foremost.
On the race, we were surrounded by constant spiritual encouragement. Teammates challenged you (even when you didn’t want it), worship was abundant, and there were plenty of opportunities to get feel good vibes from your work. There’s a chance, deep down, I might even have thought God needed me. But now I’m back. The emotions have faded and regular life continues on. There’s a famous quote from John Wooden that says “A true test of a man’s character is who he is when no one is looking.”
I say the true test of a man’s faith is what he does
when no one’s forcing him.
Not nearly as eloquent, and I’m pretty sure it’s plagiarism, but it’s true nonetheless. I had a break down a few days ago, and I was pretty much yelling at God. “God please take me out of this desert. Why do I feel so lost? Why is everything so empty and meaningless? Haven’t I given you everything?” I was left stunned in His response: “No.”
That’s it. That’s all I heard.
One great thing about hard truth, is even though it hurts, if often leads to change. So in summary, there’s this: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SPIRITUAL DESERT. We might be in an emotional one, or physical, or circumstantial – but God never changes. His Spirit is as ever present as it was in our mountaintops. We (especially I) need to be very wary of ascribing God’s love and care for us based on our experiential feelings.
If you look at the example in Exodus of the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years, you have to realize it wasn’t because God put them there. They chose it, through disobedience and complaining. The more I looked back on my life over the last five months, the more I realize there has been a lot more disobedience than obedience, and a lot more complaining than gratitude. You may be led to a “desert,” but you choose: the straight path to the promise land, or forty years of wandering.
Yes, I’m not traveling the world anymore, but the good news is, God isn’t present only when you’re on the race, and overseas isn’t the only mission field. Instead of living in what was, start looking at what is. So often we forget that God leads us to those places of blessing in the first place, and those blessings come from obedience.
Fight for community, serve in the small, and seek God. Don’t wait for it to become your job, and don’t coast on relationships or actions of the past.
God doesn’t need me to change the world. But if I’m lucky, I get to be part of what He’s doing. My neighborhood, my workplace, my local church are just as important as the remotest village in Asia. The call is the same, as is the actuation of that call.
Change cannot be simply maintained. It must be fought for.
So I am grateful, that God allowed me the chance to live, serve, and love overseas. I am grateful for the jobs he has provided me back home, for a family that loves and supports me unconditionally, and the friends that have my back in the toughest of times. I don’t know what’s next, but I have ideas. For now, I’m think I’m satisfied being obedient in the small, and living in the here and now.
So really, the more I think about it, life after the race doesn’t suck at all. I guess I just wasn’t looking.
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So what am I actually doing? Well, I’m working two jobs trying to pay off all my debt before I move back overseas. I have a good way to go — but when God opens the next door, I’ll walk through it. Follow, Subscribe, and Share. There’s so much more to come. — Nathan.
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