I can’t move my tongue. I am telling you, I could not speak. My mouth was completely bound up. I wanted to pray. I wanted to praise the Lord. But I couldn’t.
Robby puts his hand over my mouth and they begin to pray for my tongue to be loosed. After maybe 5 minutes, my tongue is finally free again. I begin to praise the Lord. But more importantly pray against the demons that were in that room.
The demon of terror. The demon of fear. The demon that steals our gifts. Those are the demons the Lord revealed unto me.
The praying continues and we are beginning to gain victory. I begin to stop sweating so badly, my chest stops heaving, my legs stop flailing. Each guy prays a word of encouragement over me. And as we begin to sing a song of praise, a calmness fills the room and I finally feel at peace again.
The Lord has given us victory!
I can finally get out of my bed. I head down for a 4 a.m. swim to cool off. I am pumped up at this point. I feel like we just won the stinking super bowl! I eat some food and then sit down to write in my journal.
What you read next is exactly what the Lord said to me that night.
“You know in Chincha when Michael said he was angry about that night terror stuff. That he was angry that it had bothered you for so long. Do you understand that I has your Dad was pissed about it? Angry about the hurt and shame it brought you. That it bothered me deeply. That I longed to set you free from it for so long. It hurt to see you my child terrorized like that. I longed to set you free. But for the good of the body. And for you to be ready. I had to wait till this moment and time. But oh how I longed to do it long ago! You think you are joyful over this? Angels in heaven are rejoicing over this victory. I and the angels are rejoicing over your new freedom. Over you and your brothers new found authority in me. You were right Nate. This night wasn’t just for you. It was for your brothers that lifted you up too. It was for their faith to grow. It was for my work in their life too. That’s how it works Nate. The body. My body. Walking in my authority and rooted in my love. Pushing back darkness, bringing hope and furthering the kingdom.”
As you can imagine, the next day I was very exited! I told the group about it and we all rejoiced together. I was free!
Or so I thought��Almost a week later in Nauta, Peru. I had another one.
I woke up that next morning pretty upset. The Lord told me I was free. What about all that happened that night in Lima? Did that mean nothing?
That morning I had a long quiet time and I asked the Lord some tough questions.
The easiest and best way for me to share the answer to my questions is to tell you what He said to me.
I asked the Lord:
Here I am again 5 nights later still being terrorized. What’s the deal with that?
“Setting you free is a process. Just like your sanctification. But I will be faithful to finish it. It does still hurt me. I long to set you free. I am setting you free. And I am going to use the body of Christ around you.”
Will it be gone forever? Will I be set free for good?
“My blood has bough all victories over Satan. But I’m not just handing you the victory. I’m teaching you. Your brothers. Your church. To stand firm. To fight for the victory. I have it won. It is won. A victory handed to you is no victory at all. You will have victory but it must be fought for. Yours and the faith of many others will grow because of it. Are you seeing more clearly that’s how I work? Through my body. The believers. My power made manifest through those I live in. Nate – this is the only my body can truly learn to walk in my authority and power. By using it. The scriptures you read were right. Satan is defeated. I have won. But you must fight for it. This way you will grow strong. This way you will learn the authority you have in me. This is the way I work. The body.”
So there you have it.
I will let you draw your own conclusions. But first let me share mine.
� I am in this place of waiting. The Lord has promised but that promise has not come true yet. I am forced to trust him. To trust He is still good for His promise even though I am still having night terrors. If you have something the Lord has told you or promised you. Hold fast and believe He is faithful. And pray that I can do the same.
� The body. That last paragraph says it all. Christ works through believers. What we are often looking for from God, He will do through other believers.
� Plus, I am completely humbled as I must trust the body around me to fight for my freedom from night terrors. Even as satan comes in and tries to tell that they don’t care or will forget.
� It means a lot to me that I don’t just have to accept this affliction like my counselor told me junior year. I means a lot that my pain hurts the Lord and He desires to fight for my freedom.
I know this was a long one but I appreciate you sticking with me. I hope my sharing was a blessing to you.
A quick update:
We are in our last week in Bolivia. We spent the majority of our time here helping build and repair orphanages. And on Wednesday, April 16th we begin our journey to South Africa.
From La Paz, Bolivia to Miami, Florida. (7 hours)
Miami to New York City. (3 hours)
A lay over from 10 p.m. to 10 a.m. in New York City.
N.Y.C. to Saudi Arabia (13 hours)
Saudi Arabia to South Africa (8 hours)
Then we begin our adventure in Africa. Pray for safe and sane travel!
