I don’t know about you but when I hear or read stories
of Faith

I imagine in my head these pure,
unwavering people
that never struggled with doubt.

They simply
believed God
and walked in Faith – pure and unfiltered.

That sure hasn’t
been my experience
.

I  have wanted to have more faith. Struggled to have faith.
Had some faith
and been on a faith
rollercoaster
before but it’s definitely not
unwavering
and constantly sure.
 

And scripture isn’t always comforting –

Such as when it says in Hebrews 11:6 – “Without
Faith it is impossible to please God” or in James 1:7 – “Those who doubt should
not think they will receive anything from the Lord”.
 

That doesn’t bid too well for me because I battle doubt constantly in situations where Faith is required.

Take for example when I pray
for God to heal someone.

My Faith meter is all over
the board – sometimes depending on the severity of the illness.

Sometimes I believe
a lot, sometimes a little and other times I’m praying to believe as
much as anything else.
 

Another example is my current journey in raising support to attend the G42 Leadership Academy in Spain this
upcoming July. (Read more about
that
HERE)

It has been really tough. It’s not a mission
like the World Race and it’s harder to explain. Plus I have already raised
28,000 in the last 3 years for the World Race.

I need 6,000
dollars
to attend and in these past months of trying to raise money my Faith in God coming through has
been all
over the board
.
 
 

But maybe Faith is more
of a process then I
think.

Maybe it’s a muscle that
needs to be constantly challenged
and worked out in
different ways to grow.

Maybe it’s never completely 100% pure and
unfiltered.
 
 

I am comforted by Jesus’ words in Matthew Chapter 17 that talks about the Faith of a mustard

Seed moving
mountains because some days I would
be grateful for a mustard seed.

And when I look back in my life I see that God has come through in all
sorts of situations where my Faith has
varied up, down and all in between.

 
In support raising for
my World Race trips.
The free surgery for
Barack in Tanzania. Finding work in 2009 and 2011.
 
 

And maybe it’s our actual actions
and our heart behind
them that outweighs all the doubts that rage against us.

You’re battling doubt but You:

         
Leave
the security of the job you’re at to
follow your dream.

         
Give
more then you normally would that month.

         
Pray
healing for one of your friends that’s sick.
 
It’s possible that
even as our Faith grows
We never stop battling
the doubts or lies.
 
 

4 weeks ago I had 400
dollars in my support account
for the G42 Leadership Academy.

My time to buy a flight to be
on time for the semester starting the 1st week of July was running out.

And with doubts
raging
both about trusting God
for the money and wandering if my prayers of faith for support
were solid enoughI bought a one way
ticket to Spain.
 

Right now my support account sits at 1,300 dollars!

An answer to prayer and a sign that God will come through.

While still leaving plenty
of room
for my Faith muscle to grow, stretch and flex as I wander where the rest
of the money
will come from.
 


Maybe
Faith is messy.

I
sure hope so because mine sure is.

 

 
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*If you want to help me reach my goal of attending the G42
Leadership Academy in Spain click HERE. Why am I  going? Click Here.

*If
you have thoughts on Faith, Prayer, Doubt, Believing – God coming through and
journey that goes with it – I would love to hear it! Post something in the
comments section below.