Going Back Out

I wrote this is on
cold December night a few weeks after I returned home last year from the World
Race:

“It’s the stillness.
It’s the stillness that really makes me think. No, check that- it’s what my
soul is doing in the stillness. There’s this deep longing. This deep passion.
So deep it almost overwhelms me.

It’s that moment where
there is no one to call. No facebook or email to check. The T.V. isn’t on.
There is no music playing on my Ipod.

The wind howls
outside. Then my soul does something. It aches, leaps and cries out in a way
that is scary and exciting at the same time.

I just had a moment
like that. I guess the holiness and depth of some moments is too much sometime.
The holiness and depth of life is too much sometime.

But my soul aches for
depth. It’s scary what happens when I listen to my soul.

It’s even scarier when
I’m not. I can’t deny it.

The yearning of my soul has been awakened

It has tasted of more.

And to stop anything short of

Complete
Surrender

Abandonment

And Passionate Pursuit
of LIFE

Would be to deny
everything my soul is longing for.

So, I’m yours Jesus – ALL OF ME.”

As my World Race
experience ended last November, I felt in my heart that I would be involved
again with the World Race in the
future. But to be honest it scared
me, so I stayed away from those thoughts.

After a series of events,
people and the screaming of my heart and soul – I finally embraced the
leading of God in my life and began the process of finding out where and how I
can serve in the World Race.

The Conclusion:

In January of 2010

I will be going back
out as a Team Leader

And a participant.

(In short that means I will be leading
a smaller team of 5-6 people and go through the 11 month process again.)

In my next couple of blogs, I will explain in more depth the
reason behind my decision. But I want you to understand two things:

1)     
I know God
has called me to do this. That my heart
longs to do this. And that it fits amazingly well with what God is doing in my life.