The more you learn, the less you know. This age-old phrase refers to the principle
that the more knowledge you gain, the more you realize the vastness of
knowledge to be gained. And that is the meaning I have always gotten
from it. But recently, it has taken on a
new meaning for me. It seems that
lately, the more life lessons I learn out here, the less I am able to retain in
my mind. I try to think back on what I
have learned on the Race, and I draw a total blank. I try to think about the ways I have grown in
the last month, and I draw a blank. I
try to think about what God has done for me this week, and the best I can come
up with is that He has kept my heart beating.
Lately it seems that the more I experience, the less I
recall, and the more I learn, the less I know. And I don’t mean that I am less certain about things. I mean (or I think I mean) the more I take
in, the faster it leaks out. This is why
I have not posted almost any blogs in the last two months. I don’t know what to write, and in a
frighteningly literal sense. My journal
isn’t much help because it’s the same story there. I pick up my pen and it’s like my mind goes
into standby mode. And it is not an
issue of putting things into words (which Tim is helping me do as we speak –
or-type). I just can’t connect any more
dots in my head. Even for my own musing. It’s like a slow amnesia, except I know it’s
not gone, just beyond me.
So what does this mean? I don’t know. So why write this
blog? I’m not sure. Maybe for advise, maybe for prayer, maybe to
help open the dam of my thoughts. God
alone knows why I was inspired to type these letters, but I do know that even
if I lose my mind and never put together a solid thought again, God is still
good and worthy of our praise. I think
that’s the point. In the times that we
are too exhausted, or too fried, or too sad, or too depressed, or too broken to
process anything, we can still hold fast to that simple truth… that GOD… IS…
GOOD. No matter what else happens. I think that’s the point. If you discover otherwise, please leave a
comment letting everyone else know. Thanks… I think.
