Koh Samed,
Thailand April 27, 2009
The tide is soft,
ebbing with a gentle strength. Night has
fallen and the moon kisses the water with a soft luminescent glow. As I float there in the warm, tropical water
of Koh Samed, Thailand, gazing up at the stars, I long to sing of the glory of
God. But I have no words of beauty. I long to thank God for the things he has
done, the things he is doing, and the things he has promised. But my mind knows not where or how to
begin. I long to give him all that he
deserves. But he deserves more than just
me. More than my pathetically poetic
words. More than my easily distractible
prayers. More than my prideful,
self-centered, “look how passionate I am” worship. But what more do I have? I look up to heaven in frustration. “I long to praise you with more than
words, but I don’t know how.” I lay
there in the bay, floating on my back, just waiting on the Lord.
“Pray with your
heart.” I heard the words more
clear than sound. So I begin to sing in
my head classic words of praise. Holy
is your name, oh, Lord. Praise be…. “No, not with your mind, with your
heart.” I shook my head for a
second. Was this really happening? Was I really getting a one on one lesson from
the Most High on how to pray? Wow. “I better focus,” I thought. “I already missed the first
attempt.” So I try again. My heart is in love with your goodness…. “Nope. Not putting words to your feelings. Just pray with your heart.” 0 for 2. I need to get my head in
the game, here. Or… get my heart in
the game. Whatever. You get the point. “No words,” I said to myself,
“just heart. No words, just
heart. Words come from my brain. What comes from my heart? Feelings. Feelings. All feelings come from
the heart. What the heck. It’s worth a shot.”
So I let my heart
sing out all the things it felt. Joy,
love, awe, happiness, comfort, hope, peace, reverence, humility. No words involved. Just a brain in neutral, a dumb grin on my
face, and a heart fluttering on overdrive. “That’s it,” he said. “Keep it up.” So I
started singing out with my heart how good the Lord is. Celebrating all of his qualities. Acknowledging all of the holiness I could
conceive (still falling galaxies short). On and on I went for nearly 20 minutes, not a single thought in my head,
but a million utterings in my heart. A
truly joyful noise unto the Lord. Then,
I began to intercede with my heart, making all the desires of my heart
concerning my family, friends, team mates, and the world known to God. How I desire for them to feel. The blessings I desire them to receive. The relationship I desire them to have.
beautiful. It was honest. It was spirit filled. It was more than just me. It was more than pathetically poetic
words. It was more than some easily distractible
prayer. It was more than prideful
worship. It was prayer without
words. Groans that words cannot
express. I asked the Lord how to pray
with more than words, and that night, in the waters of Koh Samed, He taught my
heart to pray. Halleluiah.
