I know when you start reading this yall are going to be like “Jess why the heck did you name your post after a bubble lady?” Whelp I’ll tell you guys why….. at the end ;).
Growing up I didn’t feel the LOVE of Poppa. Now it wasn’t that there was no love in my life, it was the fact that I never recognized it or realize it was there all along. I have a beautiful mom named Dana and a handsome (going bald) dad named Mark (hehe love you dad!). I also have one beautiful talented sister named Michaela who is 7 years younger than me. We grew up Catholic, it wasn’t a traditional practice Catholicism in the home it was more let’s go to church Sunday morning and out to lunch after. It was a church where they had great Sunday school doughnuts along with the confession of the smallest sin. I don’t remember much about church, I just remember it being really boring and me yawning the whole service. We left the Catholic Church when we moved from the bay area to Woodland, CA.
Moving to a new town in Jr. High school and not knowing Poppas voice, often led me to believe lies about myself. All the lies I listened to led me to destructive behavior physically and emotionally. Going in into high school I was very depressed and started to hurt myself physically. I loved to drink, party, and boys. I felt like I had this weight on my shoulders that I kept carrying around. I would turn to sex and bulimia to make me feel beautiful. I would turn to cutting and alcohol to forget about the bulimia and sex. I wanted joy but I didn’t know how to get it the right way. Little did I know Poppa was right there just waiting for me to turn around and noticed that I am loved and I do have joy, peace, and LOVE.
My junior year of high school I found out about this thing called young life. Young life is a group that meets once a week to hang out, play games, and you have a 5 minute bible study at the end. This is where I was first introduced to God’s LOVE. I had amazing YL leaders (shout out to Ortizzle, Lacey, and Megan). They showed me unconditional love, there was a few times Lacey and Megan got drunk calls and what did they do? They LOVED me. That’s all, simple as that LOVE. They have helped me through a lot, even showed me a school that I could get into to play soccer for after High School. I applied to that school, got accepted and really got my life on track.
Bethany University in Santa Cruz, CA. The school I call home, the home where I met a new family of friends, the friends that helped brought healing to my heart. Going to this school really taught me about LOVE even more.
::I know I keep saying LOVE but I can’t stress that enough because that’s why I’m here today::
My soccer team came around me and were there for me and taught me who Poppa is. I started learning about healing the sick, speaking in tongues, and spiritual war fare. Now I was still listening to lies (especially about sex) but I continued to grow in truth and LOVE.
Second semester of my freshman year I made a commitment to Poppa that I would not have sex or even have a boyfriend. I wasn’t doing this to be legalistic or keep me in a box, I felt like I needed to do that to keep me from turning to men for love not God. A week or two after I made that commitment I was raped.
::Now I’m ok talking about this and I’m ok with people and my team knowing because I know my testimony has helped so many girls already and its only been 4 ½ years =)!::
Being raped was probably one of the most traumatizing things I have gone through and it led me to continue to turn to men for love. My lack of truth and recognizing real love continued for about 1 ½ years.
::I know what you’re thinking, Jess this is a sad story where is the happy ending?::
Here it goes… I transferred to a school in Arizona a year and a half after the rape… best decision I have ever made because here is where I met my handsome crazy husband. I continued to grow in who I was and I continued to get free from my hurt. I have been able to help a lot of young girls and even help myself =). Happy ending right? Well it doesn’t end here… more joy, happiness, and love to come.
We have been moving around the past 2 years but with moving around we have seen so many miracles and we have been blessed to meet so many different kinds of people. I have just been growing and growing and I plan to continue to grow. As of right now I am walking in joy, happiness, and LOVE. The good God LOVE. I know I still struggle with walking in these three things completely, but hey I’m going with a smile on my face and a skip in my step (old lady quote from Madagascar 2 WOOT WOOT)!
THE BUBBLE LADY!
We did a fund raiser yesterday selling Brats in front of a grocery store. We didn’t do the best but we had lots of help so thank you everyone for that! I was getting a little discouraged because we were told this was one of the best weekends to do this. Along comes this lady in bright blue, a smile on her face, and a skip in her step. Mind you we are in the Midwest and we rarely see hippies, we were super stoked. So this lady came over and bought a brat, she was so happy, cheerful, and talked a lot (she even blessed us with a yoga DVD). People call her the bubble lady and I can see why =). The joy this lady had was just amazing and it got me thinking…
If the bubble lady can have amazing crazy joy, LOVE, and happiness so can I. I can be the bubble lady too…. I am the bubble lady 2.
