Is it just me, or has 2011 disappeared faster than a basket of snickerdoodles left on Cookie Monster’s doorstep? I am staring in disbelief at a calendar telling me there are only four days left in the year. I sometimes think if I rub my eyes, blink eight times and do a round of the chicken dance I’ll wake up and realize it’s only March 12thor something. Alas, it IS true that 361 days (or 8,664 hours for those who prefer this method of time) have passed since the wonderment of 2011 began, and a new year is about to be upon us. So, before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, I thought I’d recollect this whirlwind year I just experienced. Oh, what a year it’s been.
At this time last year I was preparing for what would be the most dramatic experience of my life. Within three weeks I would be leaving on a four-month journey with Adventures in Missions to see first-hand what human trafficking looks like in Cambodia, Thailand, India and America. I’d been on short-term mission trips to Uganda, Austria and Kenya, but had never been away from home for more than three weeks. I had also only read about and researched the realities of human trafficking; at this time last year I’d never held the hand of a teenager who has been victimized her entire life; I’d never conversed with women who’ve been told all they’re worth is the price men will pay for their bodies. At this time last year I’d never played games with children who could be sold to a brothel at any moment. At this time last year…I was different.
I really had no idea what to expect, and in many ways there are benefits to the unknown. Because instead of trusting in what I know or what I think will happen, I was stretched into trusting the Lord that much more. I could, and can every day, feel peace in the fact that everything unknown to us is known by the Lord, and nothing in my life can alter His plan. No attack from the enemy or human mistake can cause His grip on me to loosen. My team and I had moments every day of the trip that were filled with unknowns, and the Lord always revealed Himself to us even in the midst of questions, heartache, heartbreak, disillusionment and confusion. We witnessed both atrocities and pure joy; indescribable darkness and restoration and healing made possible only by the Father.
After returning home I spent time some time alone processing as well as catching up with family and friends. Being jobless and remaining jobless has actually been a blessing as I’ve had the flexibility to help friends in various ways that may not have been possible had I been employed. I have also gotten to visit family in Iowa and friends in Georgia, which has been an immense blessing to me. I’ve had, in a sense, a period of rest, and I can’t thank the Lord enough for the time He has given me.
Eight months later I am still processing; processing what I saw, processing the beautiful friendships I made, processing what it means to be a beloved daughter of the King and to live in His freedom, His boldness, His strength. I knew the four months I was gone would change me in so many ways, and I actually believe I’ve only just begun to understand what this looks like in my life, and even who I am now compared to who I was a year ago. In order to continue to grow and walk in Love and Light as well as discern how the Lord wants me to use my passion to pour His love onto those affected by human trafficking, I’m headed to Spain in a week and a half for six and a half months to attend the G42 Leadership Academy. And once again, I’m left with unknowns. Only the Lord knows what will happen in Spain; only He knows what will happen afterwards. So as I find myself again in a place of preparation, I look ahead with much excitement. Because even though I don’t know what my future holds, I know the One Who holds it. 🙂
