I wish I had a rewind button in my brain.
I know, that seems like such a silly statement. But seriously ..
Have you ever had a moment that you just want to rewind so that you can adequately share it with other people? Instead of trying to explain the significance in your unsuccessful way, they could just watch, feel the emotions, and know exactly why you responded the way you did.
I think it's a pretty nifty idea.
And while it's not possible . . . I will still wish it was.
Until then, you're stuck with my rendition of what happens throughout my life and of those moments that impacted me the most.
Like yesterday.
In a meeting.
So nervous and excited.
Kind of embarrassing actually since I'm usually one who is so eloquent with my words. It's funny how the eloquence goes away when my heart is in the midst of it…
I become a blabbering fool.
But in an effort to keep my embarrassment down and not humiliate myself more –
let's just fast forward to the END of the meeting.
Pastor Scott (whom I was meeting with) took my past and so beautifully describe the significance of it touching the lives of people around the world. I wish I could remember what he said exactly but since he is a man of eloquence and I was a blabbering fool – I can't recall it and I'm not going to try to recreate it in the fear of butchering it, so I'll just give my own take. . .
God has taken my past, the dark places that I have been, and is using them around the world, to share joy with the forgotten. He's taken my heart, my sincere compassion, and my understanding and using them for His kingdom. He knew when I was alone in that moment, when I was lost, that He had a purpose for that pain. He had a purpose for that humility, and he turned something so grotesquely ugly into something resplendently beautiful.
God, my Daddy, my King –
is going to use it for His Kingdom.
After Pastor Scott's beautiful description of it (which mine didn't even touch BTW) he looks at me and tells me that, even though he doesn't really know me, he's proud of me.
And I, of course, said no no, don't say that.
I'm just following my calling and
it means a lot to hear him say that after what a few people close to me have said.
BUT – I told him he can't say it again cause it'll make me cry – and that's not right.
Then he says, very calmly, "Tasha- I'm .."
but . . I stop him before he can finish.
Cover my face with my folder and say don't do it Pastor Scott.
"Tasha, look at me in the eyes .. I'm proud of you"..
Thank you..
Thank you times a million.
Funny how four words can make an impact. Whether that he wanted to help my mission or not .. he did in that moment. It was something I needed to hear. It was a moment that needed to take place.
And one that I wish I could rewind to every time I feel discouraged or doubtful. Every time I feel like people are condemning of the live that I've chosen and the calling that I've answered for this season in my life.
A perfect moment in the craziness that is my life … and one that I wanted to share with you.
Don't forget how much of an impact your words have.
And if you ever hear of a rewind button being created, please let me know. 🙂
<3tasha
