5:00 am my alarm sounds and I pray that God would give me the strength to roll out of bed. I sit up and entertain the thought of sleeping in. Two hours of sleep just doesn’t cut it these days. However, I remind myself that this last week in the Philippians is a week of redemption.
The majority of this month has been spent in self -pity and apathetic thoughts towards our ministry. 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3 God talks to us about love. “If I could speak all the languages of the earth…If I had the gift of prophecy…If I sacrificed my body but didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” I would have thought the easiest thing on this trip would be to love little kids who have been abused, left alone, kicked out, beaten, molested and yet I have found when thoughts of discontent leak into your heart; when you want to do your will and not Gods. What seemed to be easy is now a fight.
This morning, even though we leave in a little over an hour, God is using a few others and me one last time in the Philippians. We are praying for a little boy named Arvin, who struggles with fits of rage. Two weeks ago I probably would of laid back down and caught up on some much needed rest but God bestowed grace on me and broke my heart.
How great is our Father that even in the midst of pride and ego he uses us in spite of ourselves. How I’ll miss the Philippians. How I’ll miss the children from the orphanage that have loved me with uncomplicated love. Thank you God for directing me to move out of the way.
