Pippin: “It’s so quiet.”
Gandalf: “It’s the deep breath before the plunge.”
With just a few days standing between me and launch, my time is being spent (passive voice, sorry, former journalism writing professor) with last minute preparations, final goodbyes, and trying my hardest to balance time with loved ones and time needed alone.
Here’s the thing: I’m not sad. Goodbyes aren’t as bad as I thought they would be. Leaving Richmond to move home last year was sad- I took a while grieving that season of life in school, in community and in that city. But I’m okay now. Now, with my feet about to touch the starting line of this adventure, I’m so excited.
Last year was hard for a lot of reasons: I think, for the first time, I really felt the burden of other people’s pain. With everything from a polarizing and divisive election season, water protectors protesting the DAPL, the seemingly forgotten people of Aleppo, and all the horrific terror attacks, both at home and abroad, I really started to look up and empathize with others instead of staring at the ground. I have no doubt that this year will be even harder; I will come face to face with poverty, disease, and death itself. I only hope that I’ll resist every urge to avert my eyes and embrace the forgotten, the sick, and the outcast. As a follower of Jesus, I’m an ambassador of grace and truth and love- none of which can be tasted if my eyes are not open and my arms are at my sides.
Last year was also a really great one: I graduated college, released my first full-length album, grew exponentially in multiple areas, and continued to be amazed at how many sizes my heart can grow when it needs to fit more people in. I saw my favorite artist two more times in concert, caught one of his guitar picks, and then he liked my cover of his song on Instagram (which counts as a BIG highlight in my book). I pet a lot of animals. Listened to a lot of Halloween music. I learned a lot about myself and others. It was a good year for all of those things.
I imagine that’s how this year will go, too: simultaneously hard, uncomfortable and painful, good and freeing and full of adventure. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do: travel the world. The best part about it is that I get to do it in the name of serving others and loving Jesus.
So, my vaccinations have been completed, dress code appropriate clothing has been collected, and Spotify playlists have been carefully curated. No amount of preparation can fully equip me for this year, though: only God can do that. As long as I choose to look up.
1 Corinthians 2:9
But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”
