I can tell you first-hand what uncomfy looks like on a daily basis now that I’m learning what giving up a comfortable lifestyle is. I knew walking into the Race would mean becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable, but there’s no way I could tell you what that might look like before I left. Saying goodbye to the comforts of the last eighteen years was easily the hardest thing I’ve done. The only thing that made it any easier was knowing with confidence
that this is what the Lord wants from me for this year. There is and was no backup plan. I know without a doubt in my mind that traveling to different countries is what I’m supposed to do, but the goodbyes were still not fun and I’ve been walking through a season of finding peace in the midst of feeling a different kind of loneliness.
Like any freshman college student, saying goodbye to mom and dad for a little bit and heading out into the real world by yourself is hard. I find comfort in knowing that those that are going to college have dealt with or are still dealing with missing mom’s home cooked meals just like I am. I also think, for anyone that’s ever said goodbye to their home, will relate to missing your bedsheets and all your favorite blankets, and maybe your puppy at the end of your bed that cuddles your legs right before you fall asleep (I know that I stinking miss that). Maybe it’s the laundry detergent from home in your clothes that you smell as you either fold them or put them on for the day. I know that I miss watching football on the TV with the family on Sundays after church while eating lunch. It could also be that you miss talking to your mom and dad about what you’ve struggled with and want their advice as to how to better yourself. Whatever you have ever missed about home, know that you have experienced being homesick and relate to it not being fun.
For me, personally, I have missed all of that. I’ve struggled more this week than the other weeks, but that has to do with me being sick this past week. Not horribly sick, but sick enough to miss home quite frequently. When you’re miles away from the one person that’s always rubbed your back and given you medicine while you didn’t feel good, you really only want them to be checking your fever or asking you how you feel. I’m in a season of falling asleep at night looking at pictures of all of my loved ones and saying goodnight to each of them and praying over each of them before I close my eyes. This is the closest to a goodnight hug from home that I will get for a while, but it is good enough for me. I have struggled with sharing different things that I miss, knowing that the people I talk to don’t understand what I’m talking about, but I find comfort in knowing they feel the same way when they share with me the things they miss about home that I might not understand.
There’s so much more that I miss about home, but I also find so much more peace in the Lord through this. This is part of me leaning on only the Lord for strength to get me through this season of a different type of lonely. As I talk to God about how hard this year is and how hard it will be, He reminds me over and over again that my people back home are going to be there when I get back. He reminds me that this is me laying my life down, and that He’s going to be with me through all of it. The good, and the bad. How exciting is that? God wouldn’t call me into this crazy missions trip if He wasn’t going to be with me through it all. God’s given me peace in knowing that it’ll all be okay and I will soon get to cuddle my puppy and give all the goodnight hugs I want to those I love. For now, He’s making me stronger in this. He’s making me more aware of His presence. He’s reminding me of how good He is. Guys, being homesick is no joke, but neither is God. I want to remind you, whatever you’re walking through, that God’s ready to help you through it. God reminded me this week of Psalm 2:12 “Blessed are all who take refuge in him.” As I read, I was just shocked, yet again, that the Lord WANTS to be our safe place and He WANTS us to find shelter in Him. We will be blessed if we let Him be our safeplace. I don’t know, that just is amazing to me that He doesn’t just promise to help us and be there for us, He says that He wants it, He craves helping us through our battles, big or small. This year is not going to be hard all the time, but when it is, He promises to be there for it. He also promises to be there when it’s good, which this is all a concept I have to process pretty consistently. Thanks God.
At the end of each of my blogs I will do a prayer request list. This is just for those of you that want to actively be praying over me, my team, and the country I am in. Thank You!!
-The gangs in Guatemala have gotten bad and the police aren’t doing anything to help with it. The people in the villages are having to take matters into their own hands and try to stop it. Pray that the police wake up and also pray that the gangs wake up and realize what they’re doing is wrong.
-There are lots of illnesses and deaths in the villages I am doing ministry in. Please pray for health, resources, and comfort for the families.
-Over half my squad is either sick or has been sick since coming to Guatemala. Again, pray for health, resources, and comfort as being sick away from home is not fun
-I am so close to being fully funded, so if you could pray for the Lord to provide the rest of the funds, I would be so thankful.
