December, 16th of 2019. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this day when I look back and think about the race. It was one of the hardest days on the field for me. We went into town to watch the kids play soccer and I was having one of those days where I missed home so much and didn’t feel good. On the other hand, I had just arrived and didn’t understand any of the emotion I was feeling, and the excitement for Ethiopia was very overwhelming. There were other things going on as well and I was just letting it all happen and unsure of how to make it better. Anyways, I went to a soccer game that some of the boys from the orphanage were playing in to support them. I met this sweet friend and she would not let go of my hand for anything. All the other kids usually stop holding your hand after a while, but she refused. She only held my hand and smiled at me for the two hours we were there. She reminded me through that time with her that this is why I’m here.
I felt convicted just a little bit after that day of ministry. You see, I go into town a lot, and so many children love holding your hand. At first I loved holding their hands, but after a while I got tired of the feeling of dirty germs from hands being on me. I stopped letting the children hold my hand out of selfishness. I always felt a little convicted, but I pushed it away. One day, as I was looking through my pictures, I found the one that one of the kids at HOPEthiopia took of me and the girl at the game. I heard God’s voice stir in my heart. Why am I here if I’m not going to love the unlovable? Am I too privileged to love the dirtiest of hands? The children in the village crave love the way Jesus loved them, they crave a friend. Who am I to think that hands are too dirty to be held?
As I thought about that, God reminded me of all the people Jesus touched that nobody else would have. Jesus took all the “rules” and threw them in the trash. I want to look more like Jesus, yet there I was thinking about where the kids have been putting their hands and how they probably haven’t been washed in a while. I’m on this trip to show love, the unconditional love from God. I’m not here to worry about what germs touch me, it honestly shouldn’t cross my mind. Love the children, that’s all I ever want to do. There’s nothing more attached to it. Jesus loved no strings attached all the time. Love doesn’t think about everything that comes with loving someone, love just does. It’s not forced, it’s not hard to think about. Jesus’ heart was to just simply love, nothing more to it.
Kids are my biggest reminder of why I’m doing what I’m doing. It gets hard and it’s not easy, but I get to hold their hands everyday and see them smile. In my opinion, nothing compares to that. God really pulled through to teach me that lesson sooner rather than later. I’m glad God put that first little girl in my hands the first week of ministry. If I didn’t see how much of an impact I had on her that day, I don’t know if I would’ve realized how my heart had changed in a matter of days. Seeing her cling to me, craving a friend that wouldn’t let her go really changed me. I’m guilty of how quickly I forgot the impact of love. Good thing my heart changed right back by God’s grace. Now, you can see me holding any little child’s hand and even playing with them in the mud by the well if I’m given the chance to go. God reminded me that love does. Even if my day is hard and thousands of other thoughts clutter my mind, when I’m holding a child’s hand, nothing else going on in my mind matters.
