Why? This is probably the most common question I have encountered since I have started sharing the news that I am indeed going on the World Race Gap Year. Some people ask my why I am not going to college right away. Some people ask me why I am going to the trouble of trying to raise so much money. Honestly, I thought I had rehearsed a pretty good answer to this question. I just kept telling everyone that I thought it was God’s will for my life. But the more I have walked out his will, the more I have seen how deep that answer to the question why really goes. I no longer “think” that this is God’s will for my life. Philippians 4:4,6-7 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I have experienced a true peace about this journey. A peace that absolutely does surpass all of my understanding. God has been so good to give me this kind of peace in the midst of so much uncertainty. This peace has been God’s affirmation to me to help me to rest in the fact that I no longer have to “think” that this is God’s plan for me. Now, I can KNOW with absolute certainty that this is the path he has put in front of me.
But that leads me up to the question that very few people have been brave enough to ask me. If I know that World Race Gap Year is God’s plan for me, why do I care to follow it if it is an inconvenience to me? And that is the real question. Why am I going to pursue something just because God has told me it is his will. Thinking about my motivation for the answer to this question has really challenged me to examine my heart and walk closer to him. One day I was praying about my motivation, about where my heart was and I was led by the Spirit to this journal entry from several months ago. It was from a time where I was really struggling to find a reason to submit my identity to the Lord. It said,
“Lord, give me faith like a mustard seed. I think true faith moves your heart. Grant me faith to see the sick healed, the dead raised, and the dead hearts set free. Lord, I believe and have faith in you. Magnify my faith. Move through me. Holy Spirit- I am yours. I will lay down my flesh and crucify myself to walk by your power alone. As I start this journey of self-sacrifice, make me more and more like your son Jesus everyday. I am with you. I love you. My life is to glorify you.”
The last sentence is what stuck off the page to me. “My life is to glorify you.” And what glorifies God more than laying down our own purposes and plans and pursuing his plans even when it isn’t easy. And that is the answer to the big question. Why am I doing the World Race Gap Year? Because my obedience to obey the Lord’s plan is my best way to give him glory with my life. When I met Jesus, I promised to give him glory with my life to my very last breath. And I couldn’t be more excited to do it.
